Author understood that lust does not equate love*
He's not in love with him. He feels indebted to him. When he consented, he didn't do it because he liked him but because he felt that was his gratitude. I thought Itan would stop then because sex because of gratitude is horrible but he still went on.
I actually honestly expected the rape. I was surprised he hadn't done it sooner. With their history and the new character in their lives, I though Itan would have snapped sooner.
I also don't think this is the regular 'rape = love' thing. It's slightly like a psychological genre. If it was a 'rape=love' genre, it'd only be 6-7 chapters long, you know the usual fan pleasers with the over girly uke and all that.
To be honest, I lost patience with this manhwa after Itan raped Moto...
I can't stand non-con. Granted, Sae Ju hasn't been very considerate of Moto either, but his actions seemed to border more on dub-con (than non-con), and given Moto's indecisiveness, I was willing to go along with it. I was willing to ignore some of its more negative implications, because I've realized that a lot of yaoi seems to brush off sexual assaults.
Of course, I still wasn't very fond of it. That's why I liked Itan better. I didn't root for him since Moto loved Sae Ju. But I preferred Itan/Moto because Itan seemed to be able to control his urges, and treated Moto with the care he deserved.
Then BAM. "I should have done this sooner"?? Raped a guy? I thought he cared for Moto more than that. I knew Itan had the capacity to be rough, but I figured Moto was special to him, and that he would treat Moto gently-- that his desire to protect him would overpower his desire to fucking violate him.
And tbh, another reason I was able to pardon Sae Ju's behavior was because of the gentleness I saw in Itan/Moto. I thought the author understood that love does not equate love, and I figured Sae Ju's advances were a matter of immaturity and selfishness, rather than a consequence of him being unable to restrain jealousy and lust like a normal human being would.
But that rape just threw everything into the trash. Maybe I was too hopeful. Maybe I had too much expectations for this manga when I shouldn't have. And that it wouldn't fall victim to "abuse is okay when the character's in love with the protagonist" fallacy.