I can totally relate!!!
You just described every single Fujoshi and Fudanshi out there hahaha
I am on Jean Otus x Nico Ship rn... all hail ACCA
*Nino
Boarded all of those titanic ships and sinking with it. No regrets. SNS has technically...already sunken, thanks to a canon. But not everyone died, in fact we're still drifting on rescue boats, many of us. We're scattered but together. It'll be harder to drown us. What didnt kill us makes us stronger. In conclusion, I am still bitter about the last few chapters of the manga.
I was once a normal otaku girl. I watch anime every sunday and read romance shoujo manga. But when I discovered Yaoi, My whole otaku world was changed. Now I ship every male character out there. I ship Naruto with Sasuke, Light and L, Lelouch and Suzaku, literally every male lead I ship them. I watched Future Diary and when Akise and Yuki kissed, I was in a heavenly bliss. Ever watched Haikyuu? I ship every characters! even the coach and sensei I ship them! KageHina, DaiSuga, KuuroTsuki, OikawaXIwaizumi, etc. Literally ever sports anime (Daiya no A, KnB, Free, YOI) I ship every characters. And that got me thinking what would my life be if Yaoi didn't exist. And I am so thankful that I discovered Yaoi.