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Not a question per se

ebjean October 10, 2017 2:20 pm

I don't like how so many yaoi mangas start with the premise of the uke having absolutely no experience of any sort; often no first kiss, let alone any kind of sex.

I know part of that is the culture they originate in emphasizing purity in female (with the uke in many being the fem representation) but it's just silly. I can maaaaybe accept it as a possibility in the high school settings where the kid looks youngish, but that's still a big maybe. I did the normal silly little kid kisses in elementary school, but I had my first of what I would consider a real kiss at 11, almost 12. I think that's a fairly normal age for it, at least among my age bracket. And a hot dude with washboard abs in his twenties with not even a first kiss under his belt? No.

Responses
    Okarisu October 10, 2017 2:35 pm

    That's really not true, though. Everyone is different. It's not just a matter of whether or not someone is attractive enough, but also whether or not they actually WANT to. There are many factors. I'm twenty-one, and though people have expressed their interest in me, I wasn't interested. So I've never even kissed someone. And some people are nervous or don't notice people are interested, so they also have no experience. What you seem to be thinking of is societal standards. And honestly, it's not common to have your first "real" kiss at eleven. That's still a little kid.

    .kouen October 10, 2017 2:38 pm
    That's really not true, though. Everyone is different. It's not just a matter of whether or not someone is attractive enough, but also whether or not they actually WANT to. There are many factors. I'm twenty-on... Okarisu

    i think so too.

    MyUsername October 10, 2017 3:18 pm

    I agree with them and I'm not the only one. You can look at the question "When you had your first kiss?" and "When you lost your virginity?" here on mangago, you'll see a lot of people are unexperienced.
    And besides, I think the authors do this because is the first love thing the sounds romantic.

    mrl98 October 10, 2017 4:30 pm

    you will find lots of mangas that starts with them being at age 20+ where both sides are experienced.
    http://www.mangago.me/read-manga/junjou/
    http://www.mangago.me/read-manga/spell/
    http://www.mangago.me/read-manga/memory_of_the_future/
    If you dislike inexperienced Uke, then try avoiding school setting

    Anonymous October 10, 2017 5:51 pm

    I kinda like it. I know it's cliche but it's adorable when they go all red or overreact. Like Onoe from Ameiro Paradox (he denies it but it's clear he has no experience)

    https://i.pinimg.com/736x/44/3a/30/443a30f8d119012d12b0020ff4ce552f--paradox.jpg

    takame October 10, 2017 8:52 pm

    the answer is that a lot of mangakas are subtly idealizing BL. that is why mangas that has those kind of ukes were not that popular or you just don't read on this side of the pond. i know plenty of ukes that just does their thing and i like them.
    i normally read salaryman stories more than teenybop mangas tho.

    miusaski October 10, 2017 8:54 pm

    I agree but most ((most)) of the time the uke's are either super girly (Which i hate bahaha but that's not relevant to this) or get embarrassed about everything. I don't think uke's could have had a first proper lovey-dovey kiss without being super embarrassed about it or the girl going like "ugh youre too embarassed" or something like that. Like the previous comment said, making the seme the uke's first is a pretty popular romantic figure and it's great to see in yaoi.
    ╮( ̄▽ ̄)╭

    ebjean October 11, 2017 8:14 am
    That's really not true, though. Everyone is different. It's not just a matter of whether or not someone is attractive enough, but also whether or not they actually WANT to. There are many factors. I'm twenty-on... Okarisu

    I'm not saying people aren't different, and that sometimes people don't feel an interest in their teens. My issue is the fact that it's so commonly the case in mangas, which IS unlikely. And first kiss in middle school IS common among those I know, and definitely by the end of high school for most.

    ebjean October 11, 2017 8:16 am
    the answer is that a lot of mangakas are subtly idealizing BL. that is why mangas that has those kind of ukes were not that popular or you just don't read on this side of the pond. i know plenty of ukes that ju... takame

    I think you're right on that. I read a big mix, but it seems like I have been seeing more and more of them where they are adults and still that inexperienced. Just doesn't really ring true to me.

    Anonymous October 11, 2017 8:42 am

    You probably are talking about straight people kissing, right? But you have to consider that yaoi is about gay people and realizing you are really gay takes time and patience (speaking by experience, I had a lot of time thinking about what was wrong with me). And in high school is even more hard to tell everyone you like boys, specially in Japan where the bullying is terrible and cruel, including not only humiliation, but physical aggreasion (Vitamin is a shoujo and shows it really well, if the things are like this with girls, imagine with boys).
    The fact that people in Japan are not used to talk about their feeling and relationship makes the things even worse for gay teenagers to know that they are normal.
    I kissed a girl once because my friends and hers where putting pressure on us and only a chaste kiss felt uncomfortable and wrong. My real first kiss took a lot of time, but it was with a boy and don't regret to wait, because my school was full with homophobics and they could make my life a living hell.

    takame October 11, 2017 11:31 am
    I think you're right on that. I read a big mix, but it seems like I have been seeing more and more of them where they are adults and still that inexperienced. Just doesn't really ring true to me. ebjean

    there are some fluffy salarymen stories like it. biggest example is kaeru ouji-sama and that mistaken as a porn star manga. they usually use the premise of an overly-shy man he'd turn to a unicorn with him staying as a virgin. tbh i also read alot of similar things in seinen ecchi just to have an excuse for smut lol.
    could be unrealistic for you but it somewhat touches on the japanese's loner culture. i forgot the term my japanese acquaintance mentioned tho.

    takame October 11, 2017 11:34 am

    and again, it still falls back on the mangaka's idealism of a boy's love relationship. non-virgins or those who slept with other men get flak. just look over junai caricature's message board. it's sa mess.

    ebjean October 11, 2017 6:04 pm
    You probably are talking about straight people kissing, right? But you have to consider that yaoi is about gay people and realizing you are really gay takes time and patience (speaking by experience, I had a lo... @Anonymous

    No, kissing in general.

    I understand that coming out issues make it harder. I identify as pansexual, and my friends include a wide variety of sexual identity and gender identity subclasses, so I know exactly what you're saying regarding that. However, it's an extremely common yaoi trope that one or both of the characters start out as 'straight' and continue after being in that relationship to say that they find women appealing, and they are the inexperienced ones.

    I'm sorry that your kiss with a girl felt uncomfortable and wrong, and you never should have been pressured into it, but that also is probably just as much how uncomfortable you were with everything including your inability to be yourself with the people you cared for as the act itself. First kisses are awkward and uncomfortable anyway, but the added factors in your case must have made it beyond unpleasant. I hope you are now able to be safe and comfortable in your own skin.

    ebjean October 11, 2017 6:05 pm
    and again, it still falls back on the mangaka's idealism of a boy's love relationship. non-virgins or those who slept with other men get flak. just look over junai caricature's message board. it's sa mess. takame

    True.