well not with that attitude. Cheer up, u need trust in a relationship, u can't judge someone because of some stories you've read. It does happen, believe me, but those guys r just a**holes. The good guys r out there, u just gotta give them a chance :) Don't let your fears hinder u, just keep ur eyes open.
That's cute ^^ Being loyal isn't about being "considerate" in my book, but nevermind. Well most of the stories revolve around "attaining" a relationship, as if the "happy end" will be decked with pink roses and sunset (cue to the music). A relationship requires dedication and the will to make it work from both parties. Trust issues are a part of every relationship; they are a result of upbringing and former experiences. You can't just put them aside and you can't placate them with words like "trust me, I won't". Marriage isn't a guarantee for anything. Those are words, too (yes, and a ring and a slip of paper, but you know what I mean).
After 12 years side-by-side I kicked my partner out of my door and I was about to murder him, when his first question was, if there was "someone else". It took me about 9 month to get it into his thick skull, that I kicked him out, so he could get his feet back on the ground to be a proper father to our children and for the love of good, a partner to me.
It was a big deal, a crisis for our kids as well, and it was the most nervewracking decision I ever made, but it worked (thank god, it did) - and in it's wake all the ugly little problems a relationship accumulates over time surfaced.
So don't be a chicken. You want to be involved with another being and share your heart? You'll be hurt either way. You will survive. You'll get stronger. You'll learn, even from the most painful experiences. To feel the love and joy of your feelings being reciprocated and appreciated you need to throw your heart out there with the risk of it being stepped on.
Hearts are wild and resilient creatures, that's why they live in cages (▰˘◡˘▰)
use that thing called good judgment?
I hope you use your sense of healthy skepticism and self-preservation to develop your autonomy and self-reliance. It's all very well to say "use good judgment" but if you've never been in a relationship before, what basis for that sense of discrimination would you have? Magical woo? Intuition can point you to wonderful things in a potential partner's character, but the thing is, people change. The longer they live, the more they change, and all kinds of obstacles, interference and temptations will be thrown in both your paths. Whether you grow better or bitter is something over which you have power, but not when it comes to your partner. Life has no guarantees. So, don't let fear poison it, but DO nurture your own skills and talents; develop strong friendships with both genders that have nothing to do with romance; try your best to learn to be resourceful and independent so that you can look after yourself (and others) no matter what fate throws at you; and then, after you're strong, autonomous and capable, then romance will be an extension of your willingness to grow, instead of a neediness which places you at greater risk of being jerked around.
I'm really afraid of a partner cheating on me. I'm a person who takes relationships really seriously and knows even if I was given an opportunity I wouldn't do it. But I read all these rl stories of men my age (college age) cheating on their girlfriends and it just seems unlikely I'll find someone who will be considerate of me enough not to do it.The society I live in is gratuitous and selfish it seems unlikely I'll find someone to be good to me :/