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Uke and Seme

Índigo June 14, 2015 10:35 pm

Why fujoshi girls are so obsessed with sex roles like uke and seme? You know, in the gay world there are few men who are 100 % uke or seme, or top or bottom.

Only 11% of the gay men said they never bottom. And 10 % only bottom.

The rest of us are in both sides at least once.

I prefer top, but being in bottom (or being a uke) doesn't make me less man than being a seme. And it does'n matter. Only doing what you and your partner want and what make both feel great.

So, What is the big deal when someone 'who looks like a seme' plays the uke? Once upon a time I met a man with a delicate frame, nail polish and eyeliner who was one hell of top. Yes, top. Could you imagine it?

I don't understand your disappointment when a story (often a great story) didn't develope the way you want.

Responses
    Cryonaut June 14, 2015 10:43 pm

    I'm not am expert, but I'd say it's probably because yaoi is generally aimed towards women. And for women, they're sorta used to fixed gender roles especially in sex. Obviously, they're catering to the majority. But i dunno, maybe there's another reason. But I would think it's because of the audience they're aiming for. (Not to mention, I think I read somewhere a lot of yaoi is written by females, so yeah. They might be writing from their fantasies, influenced by a female perspective.

    misekatte June 14, 2015 10:52 pm

    I don't know either - but a few of my gay friends definitely have a preference themselves - for one or the other - but not all of them. Personally I am not obsessed with which role that characters take - I just read the stories as they are. *winks*

    Índigo June 14, 2015 10:57 pm
    I'm not am expert, but I'd say it's probably because yaoi is generally aimed towards women. And for women, they're sorta used to fixed gender roles especially in sex. Obviously, they're catering to the majority... Cryonaut

    Obviously you are right. Most yaoi mangakas are women drawing for other women. I didn't see this from that point of view.

    I'm feeling bad bc good stories are dismissed because the sex role is not what most readers are waiting for.

    helix June 14, 2015 11:04 pm

    I consider myself a fujoshi, but I wouldn't say I'm obsessed with the 'roles'. I really like the stories with reversible couples and I'd be glad to read more of them.

    Yaoi manga is pure fiction, mainly aimed at a female audience and written by female mangaka. No wonder it doesn't depict real life relationships. In most of them the uke is in fact a stereotypical shoujo girl with a penis.

    I'm aware that homosexual relationships aren't like that ^^
    And yes, I can imagine a more delicate man being a top. Well, it's none of my business anyway ╮( ̄▽ ̄)╭

    217 June 14, 2015 11:06 pm

    I agree with you 100%, but also with the other replies. Since most mangakas are women, they aim to create something that is appealing to other women. (Most of the time.)
    My boyfriend is the most feminine person I know. He sure ain't going to bottom. I don't really like picking "top" or "bottom," since it depends on what mood I'm in during that time. I prefer bottom also, but that's not like...my definite choice...

    Murphy June 14, 2015 11:23 pm

    Yaoi are like shoujo, always so cliché. I totally not understand Shoujo-girl, 90% are so stupid and ignorant. As woman, sometimes I think it's a little offensive, it's really not the vision of myself that I have. Good shoujo or yaoi with deep & real romance are hard to find ...

    Even though cliché are kind of fun ^^

    Jacq the Pumpkin Queen June 15, 2015 12:07 am

    Personally I don't care but I think it's funny when the character who you expect to be either an uke or seme turns out to be completely opposite
    I generally read yaoi with the question
    Is this going to turn out how I think it will or will it have a mind blowing plot line?

    pRAk June 15, 2015 12:45 am

    I'm a fujoshi but I'm not obsessed with the roles, only the pairings.
    And that also annoys me somewhat. I just don't understand why the characters have to always be stuck to one role. Nor can I uderstand why it always has to be a girly guy as uke and a more masculine one the seme.

    But as they already said, most yaoi is made by women for women.
    -Maybe it's to be easier to relate? (Afterall in heterosexual relationships the roles remain the same, and it may be easier to see a girly guy play the "woman" part (I apologize, I know that's not how it really goes in homossexual relationships but it's still how most people understand it in their minds))
    -So people know right from the start "who's going to be who"?
    -Some people see the roles as an extension of the character's personality. If the role is different from different from their personality (I know that makes no sense) or if the characters change roles, some people see it as them betraying their own personality/character. I've heard people say that some characters were "out of character" in those cases.

    Oh, well- June 15, 2015 2:59 am

    I REALLY care for the pairings (love triangles make me burn with... Passion.) but I sort of understand why one prefers such person as uke or seme... It'd be hot. ...Like their expressions and stuff >v>
    YEAH I'M A PERVERT, LEAVE ME ALONE ;;-;;

    doytch magient June 15, 2015 3:07 am

    hm.. maybe i`ll take the other choice, i tottaly obssesed with the role. AND, ugh.. i don`t want to relate the manga(or anime) and real life. honestly, i`m not into gay in real life. i just like when they made it into manga or anime. back to my reason, i like to choose the role because i think it`ll be interisting. like.. you know `yang and yin`? the two of element which are opposite but complete each other. it really works you know for yaoi manga:) a couple that has the opposite role for each other is truly.. how do you say it, their relationship will feel like honest, (sorry it`s difficult for me to express it x0)
    and of coures, they need the lead for such a story, especially here is manga. that`s why i like the role. well, it`s just my opinion.
    the main point here is that i don`t want to relate 2d things with reallife ^^"

    I Thot You Was a Toad June 15, 2015 3:12 am

    Hmm, not attached to who's up or down, except that I will say what I always say when it comes to romance lit: who's bottoming or topping often represents something completely different than what detached observers (interested, but not as fans) of the genre think. There are a lot of power dynamic issues, amongst other things, that get worked out in these fantasies. Some readers (who are mainly women) identify with the top and others with the bottom, so the bottom in a story might be about creating a safe space for what it takes to be that vulnerable in real life, something like that. It's a mistake to look at fictional stories and expect them to conform to the higher mind processes. They aren't literal. They are figurative and symbolic.

    Índigo June 15, 2015 3:20 am
    I don't know either - but a few of my gay friends definitely have a preference themselves - for one or the other - but not all of them. Personally I am not obsessed with which role that characters take - I just... misekatte

    Good for you, girl!

    When my friends ask me what I am, I told them 'I'm a top', bc it's my preference. And when I bottom is a matter between my lover and me, and nobody else.

    I like all kind of stories, I read shoujo, josei, seinen, and shounen without prejudices. One of my first love in anime (I was 12 yrs old) was Tuxedo Mask (Do you remember? He was the prince in 'Saylor Moon').

    I enjoy a good story, in manga or books.

    Índigo June 15, 2015 3:32 am
    I consider myself a fujoshi, but I wouldn't say I'm obsessed with the 'roles'. I really like the stories with reversible couples and I'd be glad to read more of them. Yaoi manga is pure fiction, mainly aimed at... helix

    I like reversibles couples too, bc break the roles. Is noboby business how you enjoy sex. And I like when mangakas surprise me (I'm still waiting for Kirishima bottom for Yokozawa).

    And you are right, Manga is pure fiction. But because of that I like it a lot. Most of my gay friends doesn't like it because of that. Is a paradox. Ha ha.

    I like the world that females draw. There are so much love, and emphaty, and fearless men. The mangaka who I find more realistic is Miyamoto Kano.

    Índigo June 15, 2015 3:51 am
    I agree with you 100%, but also with the other replies. Since most mangakas are women, they aim to create something that is appealing to other women. (Most of the time.)My boyfriend is the most feminine person ... 217

    There are few male mangakas who draw yaoi. Most of them are not translated, and there are some who are into hard BDSM, so I end up reading yaoi written for women.

    In every group of people are 'group prejudices'. And I felt there are strong fellings for who'd be the uke and who'd be the seme. And I want to discuss it here because are a lot of fujoshis. Maybe they could "clean" my own prejudices as well. ლ(´ڡ`ლ)

    misekatte June 15, 2015 3:53 am
    Good for you, girl!When my friends ask me what I am, I told them 'I'm a top', bc it's my preference. And when I bottom is a matter between my lover and me, and nobody else. I like all kind of stories, I read sh... Índigo

    Hmmm...never did like Sailor Moon personally. (though I do remember him) I am a voracious reader but have only discovered manga recently, and will read some limited shoujo (hate the whiny girls though) seinen, shounun (and ai) supernatural, fantasy and yaoi (but really prefer stories that have more plot and story than the sex itself)
    Hmmm, first manga was actually an anime - Bleach and Death Note were both on one after the other on a local channel.

    Índigo June 15, 2015 3:59 am
    Yaoi are like shoujo, always so cliché. I totally not understand Shoujo-girl, 90% are so stupid and ignorant. As woman, sometimes I think it's a little offensive, it's really not the vision of myself that I h... Murphy

    I agreed with you 100%. And I'm going to keep reading those cliche, stereotypical, mangas because is fun and warm my heart. Sometimes I felt so down and those romantic stories give me hope, that maybe, just maybe, there are more people like me in this world.

    Índigo June 15, 2015 4:03 am
    Personally I don't care but I think it's funny when the character who you expect to be either an uke or seme turns out to be completely opposite I generally read yaoi with the question Is this going to turn out... Jacq the Pumpkin Queen

    Me too!!
    People in Far Asia is so unlike to us, in the Western world. For me is like being a spy. I could learn many things and understand better their culture.

    Índigo June 15, 2015 4:22 am
    I'm a fujoshi but I'm not obsessed with the roles, only the pairings.And that also annoys me somewhat. I just don't understand why the characters have to always be stuck to one role. Nor can I uderstand why it ... pRAk

    I'm with you about the pairings.

    And I'm with you about the girly uke, it's get on my nerves when the uke is alwas blushing, or the seme is always cool. Sometimes I want the uke f**ks the seme.

    You are a smart girl. I understand now better than before. I shouldn't be so upset about the messages people left, and how disappointing they were because the uke was the seme and vice versa.

    Índigo June 15, 2015 4:25 am
    I REALLY care for the pairings (love triangles make me burn with... Passion.) but I sort of understand why one prefers such person as uke or seme... It'd be hot. ...Like their expressions and stuff >v> YE... @Oh, well-

    ε=ε=(ノ≧∇≦)ノ

    Here, an asian boy chased for penises!!

    Good for you! Never change!

    Índigo June 15, 2015 4:34 am
    hm.. maybe i`ll take the other choice, i tottaly obssesed with the role. AND, ugh.. i don`t want to relate the manga(or anime) and real life. honestly, i`m not into gay in real life. i just like when they made ... doytch magient

    Yes, I understand.

    Mangas is a merchandise. Mangakas and editors and magazines are customer oriented. They need a structure, and the people who buy it need to know they won't be disappointed.

    I never thought, like you, it could be like the yin and yang, is a good image.