It's like this. I have a best friend since we were 8. Well, she's my first best friend since I've never had any best friends even in neither my neighbourhood nor my kindergarten. Well, I'm bad at dealing with people. We continued as best friends until 2 years later, there was a transferred student came to our school. Let's just call my best friend S and that transferred student as N. N is also bad at dealing with people like me and S, started to take a liking towards her and ignore me. Of course, I'm jealous. For the whole year, I always disturbed/harassed N behind S' back though I feel guilty now. Next year, my place in class was beside N. Well, I took the chance to know how N really is. It turned out that N is very kind, bright and honest and I took a liking towards N. I know this is crazy but I really enjoyed every times I'm with N. If I was going to be honest, I don't really like S much 'cause she is like the type of person that is so selfish. If I don't listen to what she said, she will stop our friendship there, some thing like that. And now, we're teens and I really like N and I think I... love N. I know I'm stupid to tell S that I love her and S said things like N doesn't and won't like me because I bullied her when we were kids. S also said that she can't trust N and she doesn't like N not even one bit. Let me tell you how S and N's personalities are. S is the quiet and type and she always threaten me over our friendship and she's forceful and selfish and has so many things I dislike. N is someone easygoing and always bright and will always tell me everything happens in her life and will always have time to listen to my problems and soothe me unlike S. Now I think S is jealous because I don't always hang around her anymore and I act like I don't need her anymore. And also S always talk bad about me to N behind my back and she also talk bad about N to me behind N's back. But seriously I and N have a very good understanding and now I'm so confused about which one should I choose among them? I just realized that I just created a mini novel. But please tell me what should I do. I want to stop this but I think it's too cruel. If you were in my shoe, what will you do?
personnally i thin you three should talk about everything together and see what will happen, and you can have 2 bestfriends!
but if you think S is going to far tell her first even id you end up by arguing.
the thing right now is that do you see N only as a friend or also as a love interest?
bc it can change the situation a lot
Easy. Keep your friendship with s but don't be too close.it will just break your heart.that attitude is irritating.
Get closer with n.get to know n more and decide whether you would like to live the rest of your life with n.if yes, treat n better. Make sure n trust you whole heartedly.reply kindness with kindness
if S is always selfish like that, then it should have been you the one who understand about her selfishness as part of her personality. if you're tired by her selfishness and stubbornness, you should say it directly to her so she could understand. if you think telling her about your feeling towards N is useless then don't.
and you should tell S stop badmouthing behind people's back, and ask N to do the same.
my focus on this problem is how S's selfishness affect you to prefer hang out with N instead of her. but she's your very first best friend and we couldn't do about that.
you don't have to choose. it's sad for S if you choose N, and it's sad for you and N if you choose S. why don't you try to get along with everybody?
there are things I would do in that situation;
-I say directly to S that she shouldn't talk bad about N behind N's back and ask N to do the same, like "gosh you shouldn't do that. badmouthing people is not good, let's change subject or smth". then I try to 'fight S back' like getting annoyed when she pushes me to do smth or what, distancing if she's becoming annoying and disrespect me, y'know, make it more like she's supposed to need me, not the other way. and I keep continue my relation with N.
-make myself busy, too busy that I don't have enough time with S. tell her I got a lot of work to do that I'm afraid can't hang out with her anymore. or at least make her realize that I'm avoiding her because her bad attitude. if she's angry, I directly tell her what I felt for all this time, hoping she's understand and change. if she's not, I distance her, contacting her only if I need, etc.
I hope this will help :)
I also hope you, S, and N would be in a great friendship! or love life or whatever lol
Are you the one who change her tune?
Years you spend with S was fun, but if she was breaking your heart, made you annoyed, stressed, thrusting you into dark and bad feelings, you should stop your friendship gradually, (don't try to avoide her tomorrow) talk less, laugh less. She'll ask if what happened. Tell her what she did to you, gently. If she starts to protect herself and blame you, it's a pity. You must NOT give her a little chance to stay as friends. (just friends, not besties like before. A station you have with your classmates. I call it "zero/neutral") If you see a light of sadness and regret on her eyes, you CAN give her a chance to stay as friends -if you want to-. You can chitchat with her.
I've made it before so i know. You'll feel a little bad about this decision. You'll remember time you spend with her, but it's okay. People who stands with you'll change. It's impossible to not change. (It'd be only in grave, i think. :D) I had a friend like that. She was making me run after her, always. When i try to do same to her, she wouldn't run. I got tired and i fought with her. (pulled my hair and got a punch, haha :D)
It was a bad ending maybe, but it was my first time so don't take this serious. After that, i began to do like way i told you.
You'll feel her stares at you, sometimes her sarcastic behaves. She can ignore you first times when you try to talk as a friend but it'll be okay to. (She may say, "You ended our friendship, and you come still? be preapared :D ) She will act cold. It's childness. That's it. A child. That's the way to think, so you won't get hurt.
Therewith, don't be afraid to hangout with N. It's a little thing, but if S gossips about you to N, know that it's her badness. Add a point to her bad behaves. (Makes it eaiser to be NOT affected by S. -So she fell to minus one-) Don't hide this events and your current relationship with S from N. Let her know. So N will trust you more. But i'm warning you, DO NOT EXAGGERATE THINGS S DID TO YOU. (If you, you'll get in trouble. It is a lie, don't forget this.) Be objective.
I hope you get what you want and deserve too! Good luck!
Ah, and i'll keep wondering what happened, so i'll be happy if you tell me. -Curious- (⊙…⊙ )
I hope i was helpful. ^^ ヾ(❀╹◡╹)ﾉ~
YOU CAN DO IT, FUJOSHI/FUDANSHI!! (๑•ㅂ•)و✧
Hi guys! I am from Malaysia. My friend made this WhatsApp group for my sake but he left because he's an innocent guy （￣へ￣）The group only has 8 participants including me（/TДT)/ Seems like it's hard to find fujoshi and fudanshi in my country, so the group is almost dying. I hope the group can be lively with you guys joining it.
We can talk about our favourite yaoi manga and you can send some steamy pictures of yaoi too ヾ(☆▽☆)
Here's the link:
https://chat.whatsapp.com/L4W2je3Ir2zG7U8n1pjvur
I will revoke the link on 12 December ╮(￣▽￣)╭