I am glad Riya found himself after all that time. That sexually harassing, abusive, conceited senpai of his is sickening and I am glad they Riya did stay with him. Reading the dialogue between this senpai and Riya, all that senpai really wanted in his own words "I'll show you something even better than the violin", this guy was threatened by Riya's abilities on the violin and was constantly trying to get him to abandon the violin by trying to get Riya to become some sex addict that would only focus on him. Possessive seme's are my least favorite because they only focus on sex and call that love. Seperating the person you "love" from something they love is N O T love.
Thoughts on the split-personality plot and who loved who.
White is the functional part of Riya, the part that allows him to fit in with society and go to school, and play the violin. Black is the emotional part of Riya, the one that stands up for himself, that contains his ego, and his ability to love as well as hate. I speculate this divide was based off of a Jedi/Sith distinction because it lines up so well with that, but just complete speculation on my part.
Anyway. The white part of Riya had respect for senpai because of both their relationships with music, the instrument, and performance, but I think it's a mistake to call it love (even though he did say it in the text), because I don't think white was capable of that, he just didn't know what to call it. In the past, full-Riya was captivated by a performance that senpai gave, and meanwhile, after senpai watched Riya's performance, criticized him harshly. Full-Riya knew that his (Riya's) talents were greater, and that senpai was just jealous, i.e., so Riya (pre-split) sassed back at senpai, and that sort of set the stage for white's relationship with him later (e.g., like when senpai kept saying white/Riya "has an ego" even though it was never shown -- senpai just didn't realize there was a split I guess and that the ego went with the part of Riya senpai never saw).
Later, when Riya split, the respect and admiration for senpai's performance went with white/Riya (ex: all the nagging for senpai to get his shyt together, etc), while the hatred of senpai's petty jealousy went with black/Riya ("i hate you" is pretty clear). Because white/Riya couldn't remember anything that black/Riya took with him, he didn't remember the part where senpai was basically a salty jerkhole. This is why white/Riya lets senpai get away with so much (in addition to abuse-victim/stockholm syndrome), and why black/Riya says he hates senpai.
Also, there is the matter that white/Riya's personality was said to be an imitation of his friend Yasui, whom he really misses. Yasui was Riya's first real friend, and the first person who tried to break Riya free of his cycle of abuse, but didn't have the power, as a middle schooler, to do so. And then bad things happened as a result of them running away, and it seemed like white's personality became Yasui so that white/Riya wouldn't have to feel alone even though Yasui was taken from him forcibly. I would say that full-Riya loved Yasui first, never really truly "loved" senpai because full-Riya knew he was a jerk, and that black/Riya loved Atsushi (and white/Riya later accepted this), because the part of Riya capable of love went with black. This was probably why re-formed/Riya told senpai he "loved" him (past tense), because it's an easy word to use, and white/Riya did have some affection for senpai, but it was a completely unhealthy relationship, and full-Riya understands this.
Also, I would suspect the Riya at the end of the manga is actually 3: white/Riya + black/Riya + Yasui. Unfortunately, we're not really given enough time with this final Riya or any time with Yasui to really know for sure. Final Riya is definitely not the zombie his cousin described as his original personality, so yeah.
I didn't read the story, but I did read all the comments and wanted to ask something... So there's a guy named riya who has multiple personality disorder, and riya has 2 different personalities by the name of balck and white, and the black is in love with ikeda and and white one was in love with kousaka..but then the black personality and the white personality become one. so now, does riya has his own personality, and the new one that combines both black and white? Because at the beginning riya had his original personality, but also had 2 others, black and white..but now he has his own, and one the is both black and white. Am I right or wrong? If I'm wrong can someone please explain to me? I've tried to read it, but I couldn't after the first page..the art isn't to my liking.. :(
Progress was as follows: First Riya had one original personality. He suffered abuse and felt something changing (like he "disappears") but no split yet.
Then something big happend. The split in 2 personalities (one obedient, music loving; one rebellious violin hating, the protector) happens.
One personality loves Ikeda, one loves sempai. After some development and something that triggers him he starts losing one of the personalities.
It follows some self growth. Then the protector decides to take the back place and let the music loving personality in front. But it is the first time the music loving personality realises the existence of the protector. So progress.
He goes on another journey of self growth. When he comes back he declares that he is Neither the black or white personality. He is both.
Love it, such a unique story! And If anyone wanted to know more about dissociative identity disorder(multiple personality disorder) I would recommend you watching on youtube "dissociadid" she has multiple personality disorder and she explains it pretty well, and talks about many things the come with that disorder. and her content is quite good! https://youtu.be/ohjHEGdnVA0
This is just my thoughts. I read the comments and somehow readers are a bit disappointed they never got to see white eventually falling in love with ikeda before he combined with black. But I think he didnt have to. When they combined, it didnt mean white ate the black personality. Why do i feel like everyone is assuming that by combining, white wins out and black is eaten? They wished white fell for ikeda. Why? What for? Riya as a whole person already did. The part of the whole Riya that loves atsushi Ikeda will always be the black part of him. White didnt have to fell for him. White and black combining means Riya is now an expert refined violinist (white part) who is in love with atsushi (black part)..All the skills and manners and logical thinking is white's (eating skills, education, violin skills, gentleness) and matters concerning the heart ( love and courage) is all black's. I think that is wonderful. That Riya is able to become whole and with that he is complete.
But He obviously fell in love with black. The cat he was waiting for is black. He gave the key and despite white returning it everytime, he insisted that white should keep it because he was waiting for black to come back to him again. Even in his dreams, white approached him calling him "ikeda" but when he held him, Riya called him "Atsushi" and him smiling and blushing as he sleeps says "so he turned into black" before he woke up. the one he said "I love you" to is Black. He hesitated sleeping with him because of what Black had said. "What if I disappear too" He said he didn't mind which ever personality it was as long as it's riya but he is clearly afraid that black will disappear while He didn't seem to be that worried when White did. And when he slept with black and woke up to Riya being White. He was clearly lonely. He was jealous because now that Riya is white, he was afraid Riya would come back to that senpai. Because he knew White is in love with the senpai. And white Riya laughed when he asked him if he loves the senpai. Before white riya leaves, he notice ikeda looking depressed. And white knew Ikeda is sad that Black is gone. So white says dont look like that. Black is still inside him. Ikeda wasn't this devastated when it was white who disappeared. White even thanked Ikeda for loving Black.
Ikeda Atsushi kept saying til the end that he is fine with either black or white but when they saw each other again years later, He still asked if the Riya he is talking to is Black or White. If he never really cared whoever personality it was, why bother asking. Deep inside he was hoping that Black returned to him. And Riya saying black and white is combined into one riya now made him happy.
And riya calling him atsushi makes me think that the part of him with feelings for Ikeda Atsushi will always be Black.
I think he loves Riya without seeing him as black or white, but he respect the white riya who loves his senpai (at least he knows it like that) because he loves riya no matter which one he is. He doesn't want to push the white riya if riya doesn't want to. He think like the white riya maybe can't accept this and can be upset and he doesn't want that happen. That's why he upset, not because he doesn't loves the white riya when the black riya disappeared but he upset because the white riya that he knows don't love him even though he loves him too. Well this just my opinion
... I really wanted White to individually fall in love with Atsushi. He never seemed to get a chance to really know much about him. Well, I guess he got to know more about him from Black. Probably not conversationwise, but since they've assimilated, naturally, he found out more about Atsushi. I imagine that at the time when he was abroad, he was probably questioning whether the pain he feels in his chest (mentioned before he departed, and I'm presuming he couldn't help but feel it himself) was because of black or because he feels it himself, at least because of what Atsushi had done for them and how he really loved Black. Then he probably thought that the best place to be, the person he wants to be with most, whether he's Black or White, the one who will allow them the most happiness, is Atsushi. I can't help but think that that was one of the major things that made White and Black become one.
But there's one thing I can't imagine or daydream about, one which I really wanted to see... I wanted to see about how they would spend their lives together and what came after!!!
I guess I'll just be happy and contented with my own explanation of how Black and White came to become one (at least one of the reasons why) and happy because Riya achieved his dreams, became happier, and is no longer lonely. The best part is that they ended up together!
I really didn't like how White liked that Senpai before, but putting it into perspective, I guess that was one of the things that made them become one as well: White always seemed to have seen senpai as someone who will just make him not think of anything, someone eho will allow him to run away and disregard whatever worries him, someone who is like his father, absolute and controlling (he said so...) . Atsushi was the opposite... he wanted him to be free, and he was happy to see him face his problems and become stronger, being more of a supporter than someone who controls. In other words, although he didn't hate Senpai even after all that, he knew that being with him would not lead to development and happiness. Putting aside running away, and seeking who he truly wants to be with, without being controlled or seeking any safe haven has le him to his own answers, and so I'd like to think that White, too, fell in love with Atsushi (that "barely knew each other" thing would beg to differ, but memories exist.)
The hardships of people having multiple personalities is shown so accurately.I can relate to this stories circumstances to some extent.It's a masterpiece
I was nervous about the ending but I'm glad how it ended. I like that Riya spilt with both so he can heal because ultimatley, it always should be about yourself first. Also, I'm sure he wouldn't want to put his partner through all that emotional turmoil either. I'm also glad atsushi didn't force himself and stood up for his feelings too. Having your feelings tossed back and forth would hurt for anybody. So even though he waited I'm glad he was firm with all his decisions.
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I am glad Riya found himself after all that time. That sexually harassing, abusive, conceited senpai of his is sickening and I am glad they Riya did stay with him. Reading the dialogue between this senpai and Riya, all that senpai really wanted in his own words "I'll show you something even better than the violin", this guy was threatened by Riya's abilities on the violin and was constantly trying to get him to abandon the violin by trying to get Riya to become some sex addict that would only focus on him. Possessive seme's are my least favorite because they only focus on sex and call that love. Seperating the person you "love" from something they love is N O T love.
Thoughts on the split-personality plot and who loved who.
White is the functional part of Riya, the part that allows him to fit in with society and go to school, and play the violin. Black is the emotional part of Riya, the one that stands up for himself, that contains his ego, and his ability to love as well as hate. I speculate this divide was based off of a Jedi/Sith distinction because it lines up so well with that, but just complete speculation on my part.
Anyway. The white part of Riya had respect for senpai because of both their relationships with music, the instrument, and performance, but I think it's a mistake to call it love (even though he did say it in the text), because I don't think white was capable of that, he just didn't know what to call it. In the past, full-Riya was captivated by a performance that senpai gave, and meanwhile, after senpai watched Riya's performance, criticized him harshly. Full-Riya knew that his (Riya's) talents were greater, and that senpai was just jealous, i.e., so Riya (pre-split) sassed back at senpai, and that sort of set the stage for white's relationship with him later (e.g., like when senpai kept saying white/Riya "has an ego" even though it was never shown -- senpai just didn't realize there was a split I guess and that the ego went with the part of Riya senpai never saw).
Later, when Riya split, the respect and admiration for senpai's performance went with white/Riya (ex: all the nagging for senpai to get his shyt together, etc), while the hatred of senpai's petty jealousy went with black/Riya ("i hate you" is pretty clear). Because white/Riya couldn't remember anything that black/Riya took with him, he didn't remember the part where senpai was basically a salty jerkhole. This is why white/Riya lets senpai get away with so much (in addition to abuse-victim/stockholm syndrome), and why black/Riya says he hates senpai.
Also, there is the matter that white/Riya's personality was said to be an imitation of his friend Yasui, whom he really misses. Yasui was Riya's first real friend, and the first person who tried to break Riya free of his cycle of abuse, but didn't have the power, as a middle schooler, to do so. And then bad things happened as a result of them running away, and it seemed like white's personality became Yasui so that white/Riya wouldn't have to feel alone even though Yasui was taken from him forcibly. I would say that full-Riya loved Yasui first, never really truly "loved" senpai because full-Riya knew he was a jerk, and that black/Riya loved Atsushi (and white/Riya later accepted this), because the part of Riya capable of love went with black. This was probably why re-formed/Riya told senpai he "loved" him (past tense), because it's an easy word to use, and white/Riya did have some affection for senpai, but it was a completely unhealthy relationship, and full-Riya understands this.
Also, I would suspect the Riya at the end of the manga is actually 3: white/Riya + black/Riya + Yasui. Unfortunately, we're not really given enough time with this final Riya or any time with Yasui to really know for sure. Final Riya is definitely not the zombie his cousin described as his original personality, so yeah.
This is just my interpretation. (๑•ㅂ•)و✧
I am so glad it has a happy ending. Because one some pages before it had me crying.
Wonderful and unique story.
I didn't read the story, but I did read all the comments and wanted to ask something...
So there's a guy named riya who has multiple personality disorder, and riya has 2 different personalities by the name of balck and white, and the black is in love with ikeda and and white one was in love with kousaka..but then the black personality and the white personality become one. so now, does riya has his own personality, and the new one that combines both black and white?
Because at the beginning riya had his original personality, but also had 2 others, black and white..but now he has his own, and one the is both black and white. Am I right or wrong? If I'm wrong can someone please explain to me? I've tried to read it, but I couldn't after the first page..the art isn't to my liking.. :(
The more you read, the more it spoils:
Progress was as follows:
First Riya had one original personality. He suffered abuse and felt something changing (like he "disappears") but no split yet.
Then something big happend. The split in 2 personalities (one obedient, music loving; one rebellious violin hating, the protector) happens.
One personality loves Ikeda, one loves sempai. After some development and something that triggers him he starts losing one of the personalities.
It follows some self growth. Then the protector decides to take the back place and let the music loving personality in front. But it is the first time the music loving personality realises the existence of the protector. So progress.
He goes on another journey of self growth. When he comes back he declares that he is Neither the black or white personality. He is both.
Love it, such a unique story!
And If anyone wanted to know more about dissociative identity disorder(multiple personality disorder) I would recommend you watching on youtube "dissociadid" she has multiple personality disorder and she explains it pretty well, and talks about many things the come with that disorder. and her content is quite good! https://youtu.be/ohjHEGdnVA0
This is just my thoughts. I read the comments and somehow readers are a bit disappointed they never got to see white eventually falling in love with ikeda before he combined with black. But I think he didnt have to. When they combined, it didnt mean white ate the black personality. Why do i feel like everyone is assuming that by combining, white wins out and black is eaten? They wished white fell for ikeda. Why? What for? Riya as a whole person already did. The part of the whole Riya that loves atsushi Ikeda will always be the black part of him. White didnt have to fell for him. White and black combining means Riya is now an expert refined violinist (white part) who is in love with atsushi (black part)..All the skills and manners and logical thinking is white's (eating skills, education, violin skills, gentleness) and matters concerning the heart ( love and courage) is all black's. I think that is wonderful. That Riya is able to become whole and with that he is complete.
But He obviously fell in love with black. The cat he was waiting for is black. He gave the key and despite white returning it everytime, he insisted that white should keep it because he was waiting for black to come back to him again. Even in his dreams, white approached him calling him "ikeda" but when he held him, Riya called him "Atsushi" and him smiling and blushing as he sleeps says "so he turned into black" before he woke up. the one he said "I love you" to is Black. He hesitated sleeping with him because of what Black had said. "What if I disappear too" He said he didn't mind which ever personality it was as long as it's riya but he is clearly afraid that black will disappear while He didn't seem to be that worried when White did. And when he slept with black and woke up to Riya being White. He was clearly lonely. He was jealous because now that Riya is white, he was afraid Riya would come back to that senpai. Because he knew White is in love with the senpai. And white Riya laughed when he asked him if he loves the senpai. Before white riya leaves, he notice ikeda looking depressed. And white knew Ikeda is sad that Black is gone. So white says dont look like that. Black is still inside him. Ikeda wasn't this devastated when it was white who disappeared. White even thanked Ikeda for loving Black.
Ikeda Atsushi kept saying til the end that he is fine with either black or white but when they saw each other again years later, He still asked if the Riya he is talking to is Black or White. If he never really cared whoever personality it was, why bother asking. Deep inside he was hoping that Black returned to him. And Riya saying black and white is combined into one riya now made him happy.
And riya calling him atsushi makes me think that the part of him with feelings for Ikeda Atsushi will always be Black.
I think he loves Riya without seeing him as black or white, but he respect the white riya who loves his senpai (at least he knows it like that) because he loves riya no matter which one he is. He doesn't want to push the white riya if riya doesn't want to. He think like the white riya maybe can't accept this and can be upset and he doesn't want that happen. That's why he upset, not because he doesn't loves the white riya when the black riya disappeared but he upset because the white riya that he knows don't love him even though he loves him too. Well this just my opinion
The only reason I didn't give it a 5star was cuz I hate the senpai, so a 4star
... I really wanted White to individually fall in love with Atsushi. He never seemed to get a chance to really know much about him. Well, I guess he got to know more about him from Black. Probably not conversationwise, but since they've assimilated, naturally, he found out more about Atsushi. I imagine that at the time when he was abroad, he was probably questioning whether the pain he feels in his chest (mentioned before he departed, and I'm presuming he couldn't help but feel it himself) was because of black or because he feels it himself, at least because of what Atsushi had done for them and how he really loved Black. Then he probably thought that the best place to be, the person he wants to be with most, whether he's Black or White, the one who will allow them the most happiness, is Atsushi. I can't help but think that that was one of the major things that made White and Black become one.
But there's one thing I can't imagine or daydream about, one which I really wanted to see... I wanted to see about how they would spend their lives together and what came after!!!
I guess I'll just be happy and contented with my own explanation of how Black and White came to become one (at least one of the reasons why) and happy because Riya achieved his dreams, became happier, and is no longer lonely. The best part is that they ended up together!
I really didn't like how White liked that Senpai before, but putting it into perspective, I guess that was one of the things that made them become one as well: White always seemed to have seen senpai as someone who will just make him not think of anything, someone eho will allow him to run away and disregard whatever worries him, someone who is like his father, absolute and controlling (he said so...) . Atsushi was the opposite... he wanted him to be free, and he was happy to see him face his problems and become stronger, being more of a supporter than someone who controls.
In other words, although he didn't hate Senpai even after all that, he knew that being with him would not lead to development and happiness. Putting aside running away, and seeking who he truly wants to be with, without being controlled or seeking any safe haven has le him to his own answers, and so I'd like to think that White, too, fell in love with Atsushi (that "barely knew each other" thing would beg to differ, but memories exist.)
The hardships of people having multiple personalities is shown so accurately.I can relate to this stories circumstances to some extent.It's a masterpiece
I was nervous about the ending but I'm glad how it ended. I like that Riya spilt with both so he can heal because ultimatley, it always should be about yourself first. Also, I'm sure he wouldn't want to put his partner through all that emotional turmoil either. I'm also glad atsushi didn't force himself and stood up for his feelings too. Having your feelings tossed back and forth would hurt for anybody. So even though he waited I'm glad he was firm with all his decisions.