Regrets

I'm a girl who is now 16 but when I actually fell in love I was about 12. This wasn't actually the fake kind of love people often confuse with liking someone in elementary school, I believe this was real as I still love this girl up to this day. I had some mental problems I was going through since I was seven and in a sense it was a physical and mental case. The point is, I had a very hard time coping as my family didn't understand what I was going through until She came into my life. I'm going to just call her C for the sake of the story. Anyway, C and I met through sports and she made my life so much better. She got me into anime and manga, made me less embarrassed about puberty and natural things of that nature. She also made me feel really special, taking time away from others to spend with me and I loved it, I loved her attention and I loved her for being so supportive of me. She helped me through my problems and in return I tried to help her through hers. We were friends for about a year until we kissed at a school dance, my first kiss in a damn bathroom, both of us sweating from dancing but, I don't regret it. I loved her, I realized, and I suppose the feelings I had for her scared me. I was also scared that i was a girl dating a girl and that others may hurt her because of this so I decided to end things. Despite her saying she didn't care what others thought I still wouldn't be able to face her if she ever got hurt because of people not approving of us dating. I let her go just like that and things stayed pretty normal between us from then on, we remained good friends and I went to her house every week to watch Attack on Titan. After AoT ended though we sorta stopped talking for a bit until we ended up in the same English Honours class in High School. We bondedthen but by this time she had been in multiple relationships with other girls, she was gay all the way through and was proud to show that off. She's currently dating a beautiful girl a year older than her and while I'm happy she found someone who can make her happy, I'll always regret what I did to C. I still love her and I regret leaving her so much. I often wonder what would've happened if I continued our relationship, if she would've still been with me or if she would have still found someone else. I guess I won't really know, but I'm glad C is happy and I'm glad I can still be friends with her up to this day.