Every since I was young boy, I been a very reserved and calm person. People thought this was "attractive" and manly in a way...I guess. Started in elementary when girls and boys would have crushes on me but never wanted to have a relationship with me. We'd just kiss and have some fluffy moments...For some people this would be a dream, not to me. I never understood why nobody wanted to date me seriously and then things started building up in my head... all of these bad thoughts that would prevent me from experiencing my life to the fullest. So sad at such young age. As I grew older I didn't care anymore nor did I ever fully date anyone when they asked me out. I just didn't see the point anymore. It was when I was in 8th grade, that I finally found someone that made my heart skip a beat. She was funny, clumsy (hella), a bit crazy and quite enigmatic. Her enigmatic side drove my interests for her even more than I could handle.
I took the chance to flirt with her and she responded back. To my surprise though, she kept her distance sometimes, and seemed clingy at the same time. It was confusing for me, but I brushed it off as what girls normally do. She invited me to her house to study during our finals. I wasn't sure how to react once I was there. We studied till the night and I asked her where would I sleep. She said I could sleep in her room, but I didn't think that was a good idea, but she insisted. I laid on the floor and I couldn't sleep knowing she was right there. I was thinking on moving into her bed, but she beat me to it. It was really dark, but I could hear her breathing, and she brushed against my arm. She whispered something into my ear and came ontop of me. She grabbed my face (idk how she could see in the dark) and french kissed me... but a bittersweet realization came over me. This kiss, I felt like she was speaking words to me.... but once again, I brushed it off and continued to kiss back. Weeks later, we hadn't talked. In the beginning if you remember, I said I didn't care about such stuff and was used to it, right? For some reason... her... just her... my mind couldn't forget that bittersweet kiss and those words, and those moments together. I guess love was never meant to be my angel, but rather a demon that lets me walk among with a stale heart.
