I'll always love a little rape and domestic abuse.
This story's quite conflicting for me because it has a lot of tropes that if it were in any other story, it would've made me hate it, yet in this, something about it just worked. I think the fact that the relationship is unapologetically and unabashedly toxic helps with the delivery of some of these usually irritating tropes—but only up to a certain point. During chapter thirty-seven, something just switches and these tropes do begin to very quickly become very irritating.
For me to properly explain my issues, let me first give a quick run-down of the plot; Jinmoo used to be Heesuh's personal driver, essentially acting as a servant, with Heesuh viewing him as a loyal dog. And then one day, Jinmoo randomly leaves & isn't seen for years. They coincidentally reunite at some rich man's wedding, and the resentment and annoyance Jinmoo felt at Heesuh for running away all those years bubbled to the surface once again. With his lingering annoyance now at the forefront of his mind, Heesuh decides to mess with him; he drugs Jinmoo and excuses the both of them, bringing Jinmoo up to a room where he plans to sexually assault him—except, the drugs don't knock Jinmoo out, and instead seem to make him blindly act on his impulses. With Heesuh coming onto him, Jinmoo acts on his desires and forces himself onto him.
The morning after, Jinmoo can't remember anything, but the situation is obvious. Jinmoo thinks he raped Heesuh, completely unaware of the drugging. And so, as a way to atone, he plans to "own up to his mistakes" by dating Heesuh and essentially letting him be used. Heesuh at first was hesitant, but the pathetic way Jinmoo looks, and the clear self-loathing he feels for what he thought he had done, draws Heesuh in. He accepts Jinmoo's proposal, thinking it'd be fun to further toy with him. And then from there, they genuinely fall in love.
Just from reading an overview of the plot, it's incredibly apparent that this story is abundant with miscommunication. It's built on miscommunication, really, in multiple ways. And for most of the story, I surprisingly didn't hate it. With a different author, I imagine a plot like this would have been more frustrating than it is entertaining, the decisions from the characters would have been irritating and I'd find myself annoyed at every little thing they do. But with this, I'm not.
The thing about this story is that our main character, Heesuh, is a massive fucking cunt. He's just straight-up not a good person. He's irate, crass, rude, he puts himself first to the point that other people aren't even a consideration to him, and he almost seems to find enjoyment in putting people down. He's never cared about anyone but himself, though it's never outright. He has a public image he puts out. And then Jinmoo comes back into his life, and for some reason won't leave it despite the terrible way he's been treated, and it challenges the entire way Heesuh has interacted with the world. Suddenly there's more than just himself that he cares about, and he's not entirely sure why, which makes him lash out even more and push Jinmoo away.
And Jinmoo seems to see the flaws that encompass Heesuh's character and for whatever reason finds them endearing. He likes that he's the only one who sees the true Heesuh, that he's the only one who can see behind the public mask that Heesuh wears. It's toxic and bordering abusive but it's special.
So their relationship, despite being hugely made up of tropes and cliches that lesser stories would have maddened me with, is oddly endearing. I think the fact that it's not really trying to be healthy for most of it is what really helps "excuse" these tropes, as they're born out of that, rather than merely happening because the author wanted conflict.
That is, up until chapter thirty-seven. Thirty-seven was just so fucking stupid and I hated it.
So at this point in the story, the two of them are basically dating. Honestly Jinmoo's all but moved in with Heesuh. They're slowly getting more comfortable and forming what looks like a proper, domesticated relationship.
And then Heesuh tries to quit his job. This happens because he would be transferred to a branch in New York, which means he'd be away from Jinmoo and Jinmoo doesn't want that. He doesn't want Heesuh to give up his job in the off chance he comes to regret it years later down the line, he doesn't want to be what held Jinmoo back. But he doesn't tell Heesuh that, not adequately, and instead breaks up with him. And it's like . . . Are you fucking serious?
Like I said before, Heesuh's whole thing is that he's a fucking cunt. That doesn't change once Jinmoo & him evolve into a more proper relationship. He should have no issue speaking his mind so the sudden contrived conflict right near the end of the story is just so fucking annoying. There's no reason for him to not just be upfront and tell Jinmoo some shit like "You quitting your job for me puts me under a lot of weight and it's selfish as fuck, you're gonna make me feel like I've stolen a golden opportunity from you." He should have done that, it'd be in character for him to say that. Like it's just so fucking annoying.
There are other times in the story where Heesuh tries to break up with Jinmoo, and while those cases were the littlest bit annoying, they didn't feel like they were OOC or unreasonable. He was purposefully pushing Jinmoo away during those times. But here? Not really. He's already accepted his feelings so him reverting back to the threat of breaking up is just so fucking annoying and brought this story down so much, especially since this is so close to the end. It just felt like contrived drama for the sake of it, which is cheap.
Also, there's a scene where Heesuh goes to pick up Jinmoo from his job rather than the other way around, and when Heesuh publicly calls him his boyfriend, it seems like Jinmoo freaks out and is worried anybody heard. In general public displays of affection were something he seemed to struggle with, though it's never really addressed, and I kind of don't understand why. The story ends with that thread still open. It's possible it could be addressed in the side stories, but as it is now, it's kind of disappointing to not have that addressed. Kind of sad, honestly.
