<3

so fond: love as consumption. high school girls haunting the narrative. being so fucked up by death. the meaning of god. self-sacrifice. cats. eyes.

she’s so earnest it makes me sad. there’s a scene where a sex worker calls her kind, she’s happy when strangers cheer her on in these little ways. she cries because she's always sorry for her own existence. she wants unconditional love. she wants to leave. she can’t move on from her mother. oh my god.

i think about that panel of tomoyo holding child mariko all the time

kyouji is a man who starves: he grew up without the care he needed, he emptied himself to make ends meet, and his life became a shell of sex, violence, and money. he keeps himself on a leash, physically and socially. then, with satomi--civillian and student--the lines cross, and kyouji's careful vulnerabilites emerge more and more. finally, kyouji suddenly blurts his father's memory: his father once fed kyouji. now, kyouji feeds satomi. of course he would also look back in the end

i become fonder of it the more i reread