Uke was raped by others (not seme)

This manga torments me. I feel abused and yet, I'm rereading it over and over again - I translated available raws with google translator , just to get a general idea. I can't get it out of me head, it makes me feel bad, sick, sorry... but I can't stop. How to take it out of my head? It is hurting me ;(

Uke being rape is an opening here. So I will allow myself not to spoil to much. 29ch and I can tell it is a dissent BL. Not over the moon yet, but really good. I have issues with the reactions, emotions and general dynamics between characters, but maybe it will change.

Uke was raped by Seme's brother in the past. Has a alpha fobia as a result. Nothing really thrilling, but main assumption is met so I'm adding it to the list.

In Raws. I hate it.