miseryxcompany's manga / #Period Typical Homophobia(2)

TBR

What is this manga trying to say in having Amemiya consider the words of his late rapist? Initially he rejects the insinuation that he and Tazaki are the same, though he seems to have a change of heart on account of his attraction to Yagi. Tazaki’s letter suggests that if Amemiya keeps suppressing his desires he’ll end up an abuser just like him, and to this stories credit, Amemiya says that simply acknowledging his feelings for Yagi did not free him; it took effort on his own part. But that it is his rapists words he is considering so deeply, after his expressed desire to kill him, is just so odd. This idea of the “limiter” may well have broken the story by equating violence in pursuit of justice to the violence committed by abusers themselves, Amemiya going as far as to shield his kidnapper from Yagi’s gun, after noting how the situation resembles his run-in with Tazaki. The “limiter” itself lacks nuance. Why are we even taking the words of a psychopathic serial rapist/murderer seriously? Why would Yagi have ‘removed his limiter’ had he shot Junya, a kidnapper, murderer, and attempted assaulter? I assume the message Limiter aims to convey is that improperly managing the anger and animosity resulting from your abuse can hinder your ability to recover. But this manga does not acknowledge any nuances to the topic. There’s nothing wrong with wanting those who’ve hurt you to hurt in the same way, but Amemiya allowed his hatred to consume him, for Tazaki to retroactively take control over his life. And it was powerful when he described sex with Yagi as breaking his chains. For the first time since his assault he’d been touched and felt pleasure from it and Tazaki had nothing to do with it. He didn’t need that hatred for him that had driven him up until that point. Was it not enough for that to be the point in which his thirst for revenge ceased? For him to realize that Tazaki doesn’t own him, that he can still take his life back from him and live normally? The closing line, “Another removes his limiter,” only tells me Amemiya continues to live within the grasp and with the memory of his rapist, even in his death. It would have been significantly better had the letter subplot been abandoned and Amemiya’s relationship with sexuality and Yagi been further explored.