miseryxcompany's manga / #Shounen Ai(2)

I listened to Villain when it first came out, I was more encapsulated by the visuals than the lyricism but it speaks to not knowing your own place within societies rigid gender roles. I’ve never read this mangaka’s other popular work— Wotakoi— because I simply have no interest in reading about men and a women falling in love. Villain is still in it’s infancy so I don’t want to go too hard on it for fear that my concerns will be addressed later in its run. There is a lot of on-the-nose allusion to the title— with Azuru feeling like he’s being villainised for not knowing how to conform to male gender roles. He has this alter ego which we see after Renri is confronted by that delinquent, who shoulders the blame and tells Azuru that what happened was just another failure on his part, but it’s fine because he would’ve fucked up eventually. This outlook is fueled by the ridicule he’s been subject to by his father because he’s never been the ideal son, and his feelings for Renri themself because he struggles with internalized homophobia. (How much self hatred do you need to have to think a trans man would reject you for being gay?) Renri’s outburst after the delinquent leaves was something that perplexed me the first time around. At first I just couldn’t understand why Renri was mad with Azuru. He knew, but Azuru never treated Renri any different. But Renri had no way to gauge how long Azuru knew and they were saying goodbye just minutes ago— he thought he was being abandoned, and Azuru defense of him was a final sliver of pity before they never see each other again. And even when Azuru tells Renri that he really does see him as a guy he’s just too blinded by the exhaustion of being pushed and pulled into box after label after designation that he lashes out at Azuru too. He just wants to be Renri— and who cares if Renri is a man or a woman— but everyone has to complicate things. I’ll have to keep up with this one, it’s rare that something of this nature doesn’t end prematurely.

Short manga with pretty art, poetic titles and flowery dialogue are like the self help books of BL. Though I did find this one especially beautiful. The complaints I have lay mainly with Kasumi. He isn't so consumed by his blindness that it becomes the entierty of his character, which I appriciate, but he's not afforded as much panel time and ultimately feels like an accessory to Chinatsu. It's like he only exists in relation to him- we see nothing of his mother even though we're told she hides him away out of shame and I don't think he talks to his brother directly the entire time. I just think it's a missed opportunity that we don't get to see him confront driving forces in his life before running off with Chinatsu, as Chinatsu was allowed to do. The art was beautiful though.