miseryxcompany's manga / #Trans Male Character(2)

Dunno if this got the axe or if it was intended to be a short series from the beginning (probably the former), hard to find much of anything on the mangaka, but chapter 13 was the last. I didn't have high expectations for how they would handle Satsuki's feelings for Rika as a girl but I was pleasantly surprised-- he's not a bad person for falling in love, but he needs to consider how it would impact Rika before acting on it. The only thing with that b-plot is that it comes with the implication that Satsuki has trouble seeing Rika the way that Rika sees himself. I would've preferred for the story to delve into Rika's transition journey after graduation, and Satsuki's perception of Rika gradually falling in line with Rika's, maybe realizing he likes him as a boy more than he did as a girl or lose his feelings entierly. There were so many bases this had the foundation to touch. This manga deserved a much longer run.

I listened to Villain when it first came out, I was more encapsulated by the visuals than the lyricism but it speaks to not knowing your own place within societies rigid gender roles. I’ve never read this mangaka’s other popular work— Wotakoi— because I simply have no interest in reading about men and a women falling in love. Villain is still in it’s infancy so I don’t want to go too hard on it for fear that my concerns will be addressed later in its run. There is a lot of on-the-nose allusion to the title— with Azuru feeling like he’s being villainised for not knowing how to conform to male gender roles. He has this alter ego which we see after Renri is confronted by that delinquent, who shoulders the blame and tells Azuru that what happened was just another failure on his part, but it’s fine because he would’ve fucked up eventually. This outlook is fueled by the ridicule he’s been subject to by his father because he’s never been the ideal son, and his feelings for Renri themself because he struggles with internalized homophobia. (How much self hatred do you need to have to think a trans man would reject you for being gay?) Renri’s outburst after the delinquent leaves was something that perplexed me the first time around. At first I just couldn’t understand why Renri was mad with Azuru. He knew, but Azuru never treated Renri any different. But Renri had no way to gauge how long Azuru knew and they were saying goodbye just minutes ago— he thought he was being abandoned, and Azuru defense of him was a final sliver of pity before they never see each other again. And even when Azuru tells Renri that he really does see him as a guy he’s just too blinded by the exhaustion of being pushed and pulled into box after label after designation that he lashes out at Azuru too. He just wants to be Renri— and who cares if Renri is a man or a woman— but everyone has to complicate things. I’ll have to keep up with this one, it’s rare that something of this nature doesn’t end prematurely.