muse ✨'s manga / #lover's son(1)

An absolutely beautiful, mature, and bittersweet story. When his lover, hospital director Tsutsumi, doesn't recover after a stroke, Nakamichi - a pediatric surgeon - quietly cares for him while accepting his inevitable loss. His private grief is interrupted when Tsutsumi's son begins an internship at the hospital and expresses extreme disapproval of Nakamichi's relationship with his father. What follows is a gradual story of understanding. As the younger Tsutsumi comes to know Nakamichi, he grows angry at his father for keeping Nakamichi a secret, and eventually his feelings turn to love. I'm so happy I read this in spite of the slightly lower rating. This was such a thoughtful, powerful story - it made me cry many times. Although Sensei is essentially absent throughout the story, he plays an integral part. We never quite see Nakamichi get past him, although his affection for the younger Tsutsumi has grown to the point where Nakamichi is ready to accept him as his lover by the end of the story. What struck me most was how much Nakamichi changed after he transferred to the country hospital; I wonder how happy he truly was before. I feel he'd resigned himself to scraps of stolen happiness - like the cup - but never imagined a lifetime of it. The hospitals themselves seem like metaphors for Nakamichi's mental state: the city hospital is sophisticated but confusing. It's so large, the staff doesn't even realize Nakamichi was the one who cared for sensei before he died, just as no one recognized his grief. But the country hospital is small, simple, and surrounded by nature. The people are friendly and help each other. Now that I think about it, Nakamichi and the younger Tsutsumi's relationship is associated with nature and the outdoors, beginning with their moment in the hospital garden when Tsutsumi falls out of a window and then holds Nakamichi as he cries. In contrast to his father, the younger Tsutsumi is open about his affection for Nakamichi, even crawling into his hospital bed toward the end of the story. And while Nakamichi's relationship with sensei had been completely behind closed doors, utterly secret, in the final scene, just as Nakamichi has decided to accept the younger Tsutsumi's feelings, someone slides open the door to reveal both of them in the bath. I so appreciate the subtlety of the writing in this story and its exploration of complicated feelings. I look forward to reading more by this mangaka.