:/ toxic rn. Kouta is feeling sad and uneasy because he just cant seem to fully express himself to Haruto. They just started going out, and he is so happy bc finally his crush of 6 years is coming to fruition. But, its hard to change habits. He still ends up giving Haruto the love letters that the girls ask Kouta to deliver to Haruto. He also still allows girls to take him away to hangout. As if nothing has changes in their relationship. This really pisses off Haruto. Because since they’re dating, Kouta should be open with his feelings and say NO to girls when they want him to deliver a love letter and also NO to the girls who want to hangout with Kouta. But they both know that such habits are hard to break bc Kouta has been doing these things for 6 years. Haruto is seriously angry at Kouta now. At Kareoke (in which the girls asked Haruto to join them, He said no, Then they targeted Kouta instead and asked him to join bc they knew Haruto would tag along bc they’re always together. When Kouta reluctantly said yes, Haruto was annoyed and pissed off bc he didnt WANT to go he wanted to hangout with Kouta instead because they’re dating.) At Kareoke one of the girls asks Haruto if he wants to hangout later just the two of them. He says no. But then she asks Kouta if its ok that she can steal him for the evening. Kouta says ok… This REALLY pissed off Haruto. He immediately gets up and says he has to go to the bathroom. On his way out he coldly calls Haruto. Haruto then gets up to also excuse himself to the bathroom. While in the bathroom, Haruto confronts Kouta on why tf he keeps doing this shit. Kouta stammers bc he doesnt know how to respond to others without making it suspicious, and he doesnt want to anger anyone who want to hangout with him. It seems here that Kouta doesnt really value the relationship. Or rather, he doesnt think he is suited for Haruto and that a girl would be better for him (stated at amusement park). Since he is not denying the girls’ requests, Kouta is unintentionally giving off the impression that he is not really taking this relationship seriously & that he has no problem with Haruto hanging out with other girls. This isnt true BUT again, Kouta doesnt want to get Haruto in trouble with their gay relationship. But Haruto clearly told him already that when Kouta confessed, he was already prepared to be in a same-sex relationship. So to see that Kouta is stil being like this, still acting unsure, still being hesitant, still doing the same things he did for him when they were just friends (delivering love letters, etc); It greatly upsets Haruto. He asks Kouta, “What will you do if I say lets break up?” Kouta didnt know how to respond, so Haruto just sighed with contempt. He stated “Looks like I’m the only one taking this relationship seriously.” then as he leaves, Kouta calls out to him but Haruto icely tells him “Enough”
Afterwards, as they are outside, one of the girls asks to hangout after karaoke. Haruto just agrees casually. This takes Kouta by surprise. Haruto coldly asks “What?”. Kouta says its nothing and excuses himself to go home. Haruto then tells the girl nvm and goes home. Next day they are preparing for the festival. Once finished, Haruto goes off with some girls to advertise the class, and later that evening will hangout and explore the stalls and stuff with other girls. This REALLY takes Kouta by surprise bc ….Haruto said he wanted to spend the festival with him… feeling dejected and sad, he reflects back and wonders why its like this. Then he remembers what Haruto said: To speak his mind when he disagrees with something, when he doesnt want something, when he wants to say no, when he is upset, and all other emotions he is too scared to show.
END OFF ON CH 18
LEFT OFF CH 19.2
Kouta definitely realizes why Haruto is upset, and he knows that he needs to communicate and be honest with his feelings. He wants to make it right and tell Haruto how he feels. At the school festival, he looks all over and finds him. He states to Haruto that he DOES get jealous when Haruto is with other girls. He knows they’re just friends, he know Haruto wouldnt hurt him. But he still feel jealous, however…he won’t say it out loud. Because its hard to change something like this (i guess??? idk if he’s jealous he should say something but then he doesnt bc??? its weird wording). Anyways, Kouta states that he will do his best to be more open and honest about what he feels. Also, he was afraid that Haruto hated him now bc he didnt answer the texts he sent, then he started crying. Haruto hugs him, and is glad that Kouta is being honest and he finally understands his feelings now. He also admits that when Kouta said he gets jealous and wants Haruto for himself, it made him rly happy. Haruto also admits that this is his first time being in love; as in being in a relationship where both people feel mutual love for each other. He states that, there will be a lot more firsts for him as they move forward.. In fact, being in a new relationship with each other as gay lovers, they will experience a lot of firsts together. And they will navigate them thru together :’). Kouta kisses Haruto, since Haruto is always the one initiating so its only fair Kouta does it this time. This Sets Of Haruto since he was holding back since they’re at school so… ;)
Suki de Gomen