jiggly's manga / #tragedy(3)

WAAAAAH, THIS HAD ME CRYING SO SADLY IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT! I know this was a tragedy story, but I didn’t know it would hurt like this, my heart feels so broken and hurt for all three of them. Jiangchen and Zhi Shu’s love started off so beautiful in high school, with the soft scent of jasmines and a confession on the staircase to always love forever, and they did, for 10 years, with Shi giving up his dreams to build a business for Jiangchen. But Jiangchen, UGH WHAT A JERK WAAAH, bedding and fooling around with other people and leaving Shu at home alone, I felt so much hurt and pity for him, since he knew and would spend his nights sobbing. Especially after developing leukemia, I can’t imagine his fear and loneliness of going to get medical treatments alone, bearing the pain by himself and not telling Jiangchen. But Jiangchen would come home, only to use him for sex, moaning another man’s name and hitting Zhi Shu while accusing him of being with another man, Doctor Ai. IF ONLY HE TOLD HIM, that doesn’t take away all the mistakes he made tho. But the pain and fighting was too much to continue living like that, so Zhu Shi leaves forever, and goes to stay with Doctor Ai, who I felt so much for too, falling in love with someone who refuses to heal and would eventually die. He loved Zhi Shu so much and wanted to do everything for him, begging him to no avail to get treated. Jiangchen finally finding out of Zhu Shi’s illness feels so much remorse and regret for cheating on him, hurting him and failing to see Shu’s deteriorating health, WAAAAH. He goes to search for him, but too little too late, as Zhu Shi no longer wants to see him anymore. My heart hurt seeing both of their tears. Zhu Shi passes away, without ever seeing Jiangshen again, and that made me so sad, knowing all he wanted to was to hear him breathe or wish him happy birthday. The kisses with Doctor Ai made me heart swell knowing Zhu Shi was being treated well and loved, but Ai knew it was fruitless and Jiangchen was torn apart, enough to develop a heart condition. Doctor lost all his motivation, while Jiangchen almost ironically refuses to realize Shu’s death, waiting endlessly for him to return home with his ring, WTF THIS MESSED ME UP SO BAD, ugh, the translation in the beginning almost ruined it for me and when their names suddenly switched to English names, kinda weird. But what a sad and tragic story of a love story between three men, would consider reading the original novel!

WAAAAH MY HEART, why did I read this knowing the pain I would feel? Tarou and Tomoya grew up together since birth, but there's something special: Tomoya is a god with a jewel "like the blue sky" in his chest, always being respecting by everyone and being unable to go to school. Tarou and Tomoya's moments together, SOO SAD, walking to school and just hugging. On their 18th birthday before Tomoya disappears, they go on an trip and at night, Tarou expresses his sadness and they finally kiss, showing their feelings and making love until morning, when Tomoya must go and leaves behind his blue jewel. WAAAH, when the old lady told Tarou to keep his best friend's jewel, this was SO SHORT and I wish we could see what happens later? Is Tomoya still always by his side? Do they ever get to see each other again?