Fun to write. Scarring to read. Traumatic trigger. I know I shouldn’t have completed it nor did I dare to read it. But I thought I was already fine and this could end in a way that Haruki could break free and live a life away from Hikaru. But why? Why does it have to end like this? I can’t even fully reject nor deny this possibility because I know how much of it could truly happen... how binding it is and how apathetic response lead to more drastic choices like Haruki tempting Hikaru. As much as I’m glad that Hanabasu doesn’t have to deal with a dreadful burden, his actions have pushed Haruki to fall deeper.
This is messed up and I’d rather have not fucking read it. But I already did so I’ll just bury it in my memories.
Kokoro O Korosu Houhou