kei_k's manga / #Doujinshi(6)

Tamura x Yuri | Yuri x Tamura

This love-hate relationship. Oh, so complicated. In another perspective, it may be assumed that at some point, Mookyul was in love with Pres, that's why when Sangchul said about him being Pres' lover, he was agitated to ask if the Pres himself told him they were lovers. Because that's how he wanted to be, ever since they started having sexual relations. However, he can't just assume he's his lover when he hasn't said it himself. That's why all he could do was become his dog. Not even a son! Because he himself knows that a father is not supposed to have those relations with a son. So he's left at being a dog. Because he can only act how Pres wants him too. He's craving for the love that Pres is making him feel, but not completely. He has sex with others because he wants Pres to actually care about it and tell him to stop. That he's supposed to do those things only to him. Well, in a way, I guess he holds on to the hope that Pres will own him completely, so he only takes the seme role, to preserve his manhole only to the Pres. It's like, he'd only uke to the Pres. Well, he did tell Ewon that he's willing to take the uke role for him (signifying his love for Ewon has surpassed his love for Pres), but we still haven't seen it happen. In another DJ, there was a time where Ewon was seducing him and Mookyul asked if he wanted to top, and Ewon said yes.. He agreed, but only with a condition that Ewon is yet to surpass. I wish he'd just really let Ewon top him because I'm too bothered by my theory that Pres will be the only one to top him all his life.. Ugh.. : edit: 06/16/19 ~ It's now clear that Mookyul was never an uke and never had penetrative sex with Pres.. But I'm still hurt over it, 'cos I still consider doing everything else to be cheating. Uggggh.. I mean, I understand their point, but still can't accept it personally. It's just so unfair. On one hand, I want Mookyul to finally have his lover after all that he's been through, but on the other hand, I don't want him to be with Ewon 'cos he just can't leave Pres and whatever they do behind. Ughhhhh

This is my favorite DJ of Totally Captivated. I love how it sparks a debate about Ewon's decision. Personally, I approve of his decision. It may be cruel to the sister in hindsight, but Mookyul knew how Ewon was not capable of giving himself completely to anyone else. If anything, I'd say he willingly became the bad person for Ewon. A lot of people comment how Mookyul was being selfish, wanting Ewon only for himself, but I guess they've forgotten how Ewon was guilty of the same in the orig. manhwa. He realized that he wanted Mookyul for himself only, so he wanted him to abandon the Pres, even though it was too hard for Mookyul because he'd greatly indebted to him. If anything, he could say that he won't even be able to stand in front of Ewon now if the Pres didn't raise him. While it's true that him being picked up and raised had ulterior motives, to the point where he's obligated to have sexual relations to that person he considers a parent, it's also true that he could've been in worse situations if it weren't for Pres. Anyway, if we look at the bigger picture, we can say that Mookyul sacrificed a lot more than Ewon. When he cut ties with Pres, he also had to abandon the family (his subordinates) he's been with for 8 years. Those men were in real trouble when they're abandoned and left in the hands of the evil Kim Namhyung. Well, it's still quite fortunate that the worst thing that happened was Sungtae lost one of his eyes. It could've been worse. Meaning, Mookyul had to forsake them in order to be with Ewon again. What about Ewon? He was also forced to forsake his family. The difference is that, they're actually blood-related. But does that mean they're more important? A family is tied by love not just by blood. He was with his sister for barely a month, so why do people expect him to abandon Mookyul after all those things they've gone through? It's not like he abandoned his sister and mother completely. He's given up all his savings for them. That money wasn't just money; it was money he worked so hard to save by himself after being abandoned. We can say that Ewon is basically doing what his mother did to him --- choosing a lover over family. The difference is that Ewon's mother left him locked in the middle of the forest with nothing to keep himself alive. He was left there to die. If she were any better, she could've at least left him in an orphanage where other people can fend and take care of him. But no. She abandoned him completely. Now, Ewon did abandon his sister, even knowing that the mother had suicidal tendencies. But that's exactly why he also hired an adult maid to help her go through the hardships she's to face. Unlike Ewon, she's given more support. She has more than he ever did. Now, a lot of people complain about Ewon's decision of cutting ties with her, not even allowing her to contact or visit him. They say Ewon's too selfish to just live with Mookyul and not care about her anymore. Hey, people. You're forgetting who we're dealing with. It hasn't been that long since Ewon allowed himself to love and be loved. He just couldn't handle this complication and Mookyul knew this. If he allowed the sister to get in touch with him, his resolve to leave them will be shaken and he'd hurt all of them, including Mookyul. He felt that since he couldn't reassure him with his love, the only way to prove his choice is to stay with Mookyul. If his resolve is shaken, he'd want to be with his sister more and more, and he'd eventually have to deal with his mother again. Now, not dealing with his mother's issues may seem like he's running away from the problem, but facing it doesn't always mean it's right. He went through so much. He may eventually need to face his mother again in the future, but not now. What he needs now is to constantly be with Mookyul and feel whole, after all those years of being empty. You just can't force someone to suddenly be a family.