kei_k's manga / #Novelist(9)

Scanlations upto V3 Ch2 only.. This manhwa's pretty interesting and funny.. Err, I don't know, but I really like it so far.

I'm very conflicted about how I feel about this manga because it feels too deep, yet some of the characters reasoning seem illogical to me. I really liked how Youji matured from his bratty self. In the early chapters, I disliked how he was hating on Hirose's complicated feelings, and he ended up being in the same predicament. Since he had this sense of responsibility to rescue Ren, he felt that he needed to do something for him and started acting strange after Hirose let him in on what he's getting himself into. So when he kissed Ren at night while they drank, then kissed Hiromi (his gf) the next day, I was pissed off. When he told Ren he liked him (despite still being confused with his feelings), I thought he'd break it off with his gf right away. I mean, at this point, Ren or the others would advise not to, since Youji's not even sure of his feelings yet. However, it's unfair for Hiromi to have him continue date her while he thought of another person. He was very insensitive about the ring, too. Well, anyway, it's good that he at least had the decency to break up not long after. I was glad that Ren didn't accept him immediately, too. As the manga goes further, we see that Youji learns more about homosexual relationships and he's slowly healing Ren while being mature and keeping his composure; reminding himself that liking Ren is enough, at least for now. Ren really acted like an adult. When he went over to Hirose's house and said that he still loved him, I was disappointed, but I kind of understood. He's never really gotten over him, so it's just that he started to acknowledge his feelings. It was brave of him to stop running away and refuse Hirose despite his lingering affections. What I didn't like was how he reasoned out that he's doing Youji a favor by not crossing the line, and instead goes around sleeping with others. Sure, he's still unsure about his feelings for Youji and he felt pressured that he can't reciprocate the same feelings he expected. However, I simply do not understand how sleeping around, and coming home to Youji, who could possibly smell him and know what he's doing, would help his situation. He's trying to run away from Youji to prevent him from being hurt, but what he's actually doing only hurt Youji more. Ugh. I dunno. Even in the last "rape" scene where he claimed he wasn't abused and he felt pleasure from the body, I just couldn't understand. I thought he'd given up his feelings for Hirose when he started touching Youji... But I guess his feelings just don't vanish that easily. And as he said, his body truly remembered the pleasure they shared all those times they were together. This made me worried though. It's as if he'd give in to Hirose anytime since it's only physical pleasure anyway. In short, it's as if Ren didn't give much importance to the physical aspect of the relationship. I wish he cherished it more. Especially when he finally accepted Youji... How can he simply enjoy it because he pitied Hirose? Why didn't he try to resist simply because he pitied Hirose? How could he even be sure that he'd be released even after doing all that? In a way, he did betray Youji that time. Ahhh, but he was actually honest to Youji about this, but since Youji's the one chasing him, he could only accept it.. In the end, I guess I wished that Ren expressed more of his love for Youji because he seemed too passive. I get that he was hurt and it took him long to get over it, but I thought that when he knew about Youji's trouble, he'd be more active and all. I think he's been too spoiled by Youji... Ugh. Really, I just can't get over the fact that he still willingly went with Hirose's desperation. Well, he said he no longer hold lingering affections now. I just hope that it's true, and that he'd never sleep around again or allow others to kiss him easily. He's too nonchalant about this. He should think about how his partner would feel more. After all, Youji's one of a kind for him, so he shouldn't let him go by being st*pid like that.