Since I was young, I was always the "tough" sister so I never showed myself feeling sad(anger and excitement and so on was ok to show). I don't cry often infront of my family though I'm kind of a crybaby(my boyfriend has seen me cry a fair bit since he didn't have that set impression of me so I guess I didn't try to keep a front).
My sister suffers from depression and although my family is supportive, they're fairly judgmental and have a hard time understanding depression and mental health in general. I'm my sister's main support when it comes to her depression, so I do have to be strong even now. I'm not necessarily always in the best state of mind, and there's times I feel anxious and feel like crying, but I don't feel comfortable showing that side of myself with anyone. My siblings always talk about how I never cry or that I don't let things get to me that easily, so that's how I end up feeling like I have to act. I'm a fairly stubborn person so I don't let others manipulate me that easily, but I am also stubborn when it comes to showing a weakness.
I know some of you might tell me to get help or to still talk to my family, but my family cannot handle another person having some sort of issue like that for sure, so I do not plan on talking to them about it. I did talk to a counselor as advised by my sister since I did mention some stuff vaguely to her, but I didn't feel better at all. Just uncomfortable talking to a stranger (specially since I didn't always feel like there was something to be talked about). I stopped seeing the counselor after 3 meetings. I just wanted to know if any of you also felt this way?
BTW I'm the youngest sibling(saying that cuz I know some older siblings can be often put in a position where they have to act almost as a parent and idk if I might've given that impression)
My sister suffers from depression and although my family is supportive, they're fairly judgmental and have a hard time understanding depression and mental health in general. I'm my sister's main support when it comes to her depression, so I do have to be strong even now. I'm not necessarily always in the best state of mind, and there's times I feel anxious and feel like crying, but I don't feel comfortable showing that side of myself with anyone. My siblings always talk about how I never cry or that I don't let things get to me that easily, so that's how I end up feeling like I have to act. I'm a fairly stubborn person so I don't let others manipulate me that easily, but I am also stubborn when it comes to showing a weakness.
I know some of you might tell me to get help or to still talk to my family, but my family cannot handle another person having some sort of issue like that for sure, so I do not plan on talking to them about it. I did talk to a counselor as advised by my sister since I did mention some stuff vaguely to her, but I didn't feel better at all. Just uncomfortable talking to a stranger (specially since I didn't always feel like there was something to be talked about). I stopped seeing the counselor after 3 meetings. I just wanted to know if any of you also felt this way?
BTW I'm the youngest sibling(saying that cuz I know some older siblings can be often put in a position where they have to act almost as a parent and idk if I might've given that impression)