Adopting Cats

I know this is a manga site but Idk where to post this aside from here.

This is about my friends. I have known them for years and I love being with them but at the same time, it feels suffocating. Like, when they invite me to go have fun w them, I'll happily accept it but before an hour I meet w them, I'll be nervous and don't want to go anymore and sometimes I want to/started crying. And when I'm w them, I'm happy but when I became too much happy, I'll start thinking negative thoughts or sometimes, I just randomly think abt it. And idk why, I feel suffocated when I'm with them (with my family, too). Don't get me wrong, my friends are not toxic, rather they are super kind! I just don't know why I'm feeling those.

And if you guys want, give me your thoughts about this or some advice to stop feeling this.

Sorry, if it's kind of confusing. I'm not that fluent in English. (´･-･`)

You're free to include killing stalking if you'd like :)