Penpals

At the rate that i see my life going, I'm honestly to the point where i fear I'll never meet a romantic partner.
I fear i'll die alone.
Like, y'all, i kinda want to be a hoe and be dicked down before i die
Every time i TRY to change my life, failure is what ensues.
Like....what did i do 2wrong in my past life?
On a whole serious note: I'm just ready for love/sex and all that, why is it not ready for me?