Fetishes And Kinks

Can't even believe I'm typing this.
But like, oh my gosh. I have no sexual experience. None. I was sexually assaulted by five different people (girls and boys) around the same time period. Would that have something to do with it? I've never really felt the overwhelming desire some people have to be touched or held, but damn imagining a guy moaning under me.... Maybe i read too much bl?


IS THIS NORMAL OR AM I ALONE.

i dont know if its just me or others too feel attracted to their brothers or sisters sexually. in my case it might have been triggered by a childhood experience. i always hated my little brother who is almost 2 years younger than me, and used him for my experiments. and it was him with whom i first tried kissing and fondling. i was then 7 or 8 years old and was only copying what we saw adults do in the tv. of course when i was 12 years old i finally learnt what the hell adults do in that position, and that, siblings must never try those things. though i did that unknowingly, i have since then suffered this self hatered, guilt feeling. now i m 21 and though i tried dating some guys, i could never go through that "physical'' part. it was like re-living that childhood trauma. should i just go to a psychiatrist?