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TW/// RAPE, SUICIDE

so uh- i heard this a few days ago, i dont really understand how it works but im quite shooketh tbh, im a child out of marriage n i have rape kink ;-; dont come for me y'all, its the trauma.

i def do NOT romanticize this in any way, but things were literally fucked up for me, is not like i entirely believe it, but knowing that i was born bc a non-consent sex n then unfortunately experience the same stuff when i was a child, is really sucks, i had theraphy, but i stopped cuz my parents think that i dont have anything to be stressed about, little do the they know that i almost off myself for the past few years

maybe u wonder why i didnt tell this to my parents or family? i basically cant, things like this was awfully taboo, n since there's no witness or proof so i cant convince anyone either, n it happens years ago

and why did it even developed to a kink? its basically something scared me for years, i dont even know, i def seems contradicting but hey, im confused as well ok, at some point i thought maybe it wasnt a kink, maybe its just bc it stucks in my mind, but idk, wdyt?

so sorry for sharing this question, i just need to ask someone, no one ever really know this irl, not even my parents, i even once live w the perpetrator for a couple months since he was my cousin

actually I just want to read/ watch some stories with a badass fl or handsome like fl/mc