Have An Unpopular Opinion

As a girl who reads BL, I understand why the other girls would take as an insult the fact that they're being called "fetishists". But even if you feel bad about it, WE ARE NOT IN A POSITION TO DEBATE ABOUT IT. That's it, I said it. We aren't gay men, so we won't get their struggle or the specific reasons why they're uncomfortable about BL, but the least we can do is trying to understand and validate them.
Let's try to see it from their point of view, using as an example a situation we ahve to go through almost everyday:
When men try to speak for us when it comes to feminism, or our struggles as a woman in general. They aren't women so they can't get the real issues we deal with in a daily basis, so why the hell are they trying to explain it if they don't know shit?
IT'S THE EXACT SAME WHEN IT COMES TO THIS, ISN'T IT? We should just step back, and accept it's not us who should be debating about this. If they call us fetishists, then we shouldn't get mad and attack them; instead, we should try to hear them, and do as much as we can to erase the kind of behavior that makes them feel uncomfortable.

When it comes to us, we want men in general to listen to us and stop speaking about our lives as if they knew, so now that we are dealing with something like this, why won't we respect their opinions and just respectfully listen as we'd like to be the case when it comes to us.
(also I tried ti explain myself the best I could but english isn't my first language so I'm sorry if there's a lot of mistakes)