Bye Bye Virginity

I wrote this for a different post but the questions kind of mesh so I'm going to put this here.
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It started as simply hanging out at his place, please note that his ENTIRE family was home (aunt, grandma, grandpa, cousins). Anyway, we meet during training at work because we got hired around the same time. He was nice, didn't think of him in any romantic way but I figured we would be good friends. We'd hung out before but it was always group events and everyone else was "coupled" in a sense. That's kinda why we stuck together.

This was the first time it was just us. I figured we would just watch some movies and eat. (I'm a firm believer that men and women can do this as FRIENDS) I informed him ahead of time I had a midterm due by midnight but that I could take it with me and while he watches a movie I could get it done. We both agreed that this would work out just fine.

So I get there, meet the family, and we head off to his room. The night starts fine but then AS I'm taking a midterm he offer me a drink, an alcoholic drink, now I may be underage (20) but I've had my fair share. I decide "what the hell" and take one. I forget 1) that I haven't drunk in a long while and 2) I fucking love drinking. So here I am taking a test (a MIDTERM at that) slowly sipping on a drink. About an hour or so later I'm drinking straight from the bottle of whiskey (I don't like mixer - I prefer my alcohol straight)

At this point, I'm a giggling mess and he is trying to take the bottle away from my crazy ass and help me with a midterm he knew nothing about. Let me clarify that I get pretty touchy with ANYBODY when I drink so I'm all over him. I pretty much black out BEFORE I submit my midterm. Woke up the next morning with my clothes off and virginity gone. What a night and I don't even remember it!! Now I was pretty upset at first, I mean I was CLEARLY DRUNK.

I was so shocked that when he woke up I had sex with him again because I didn't know what to do or how to say no. Now I want to encourage anyone reading this that if you ever feel like you are in this kind of situation to NOT be like me. Don't think for a second you don't have a voice, say NO. Or if you think you are unsafe to find an excuse to leave the room, say you need to use the bathroom get some water ANYTHING then leave. Hell, leave your shit behind if you need to as long as you can get your hands on some keys.

My story didn't end up being so tragic though. And I honestly don't even think of it as rape. We both made some mistakes that night and it's on both of us. What I think some people forget it that we were BOTH drinking. I ended up telling him how I felt about the situation the next day and he apologized for DAYS and did everything he could to make it up to me.

In the end, we became friends with benefits and have been for a few months (still ongoing). I don't like him in the sense of ever getting serious but I work full time and go to college full-time so I don't have time for relationships. This gives me a way to have a little fun and destress. I do consider this our first "date" because we have since gone on a few (and I mean things like movie nights, arcades, out to eat). Pretty much mock dates because we aren't really dating.

Anyhow, I do have some regrets from that night but losing my virginity isn't one of them. I do regret drinking the alcohol but only because I knew I had a midterm. You see I'm big on school and I had never made such a big mistake. I ended up failing the test but overall achieving a B in the class (not an A but I'll take it)