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Not that I hated them, Im just angry at them for making the worst in me

NPK4 NPK4 2020-10-08 15:04:33 About hating someone
It happened to me when I was doing my architectural thesis for my bachelor's degree. There were 3 of us in the group and I was hesitant to make this one person my Thesis group mate since they are notorious for having many excuses of why they can't do this or that. I warned them from the start that if they had other business, they should tell me first. So here are the list that they did without consulting me (and without even doing anything aside from their extracurricular activities)

1. TB (Thesis buddy) joined a dance team because TB wants to try dancing on a competition during our uni week. This made TB rehearse dancing every night instead of helping us write chapter 1-3 of our book

2. TB went to Vietnam without telling us. TB was MIA for that whole week and we had no idea until we saw TB's post on FB. At that time we were gathering each others designated jobs. (This was before presenting our 1st deliberation)

3. TB joined a pyramiding scheme business (Fr**tR*w). Without telling us again.

Before our 2nd Deliberation, the one day before we present, TB told us that they would not come help us prepare for the presentation because they have a KPOP gathering. (BTS' Jimin's bday celebration)

And so my other group mate and I avoided TB on the second semester of our Thesis. We gave them bare minimum of work so we won't be waiting for TB's output. Mind you, TB was often not present for the whole second semester in our classes, TB was busy selling soaps and vitamins and also recruiting new member to their team. TB's mother even sent us a message asking us why we weren't giving TB a part to work on in our thesis. At that time, i was considering of kicking TB out of our book but we decide against it because karma and all.

And so came our final deliberation, the worst of all since we have to present a complete thesis (Scale model of our structure, floor Plans, renders of interiors, structurals and electrical plans, complete chapters of the book). 3 weeks before the final presentation, my other groupmate and I were already preparing for it. We barely sleep within that 3 weeks of labor. TB only appeared 4 days before the presentation. TB came to us apologizing and bringing us food. We had a deep conversation with TB at that time and (tried to) made TB reflect of what they had done during the whole time of working our thesis. Boy, i was wrong to believe that they really want to help. TB quickly fell asleep every night, they would also go out at the middle of the night to buy something in a convenience store and it would take them an hour to get back. When I was building our scale model, I assigned TB of making the cinema seats (our thesis was an indie cinema house). TB spent 2 days making that part, which they repeat 3 times and so wasting resources. So I gave up trying to make TB help with our scale model and so I assigned them of preparing our PPT slides and finding some errors in the book.

The day came for our deliberation and we were sleepless for 3 days at that point, while TB had the luxury of sleeping the night before. I didn't had breakfast and didn't even bath at that time, so I presented in front of the jury without washing and brushing my hair. During the presentation of our slides, I was horrified to discover that our slides didn't have any slight changes! It was our slide back in our 3rd deliberation. At that point I was questioning what TB have been doing the night before, my other group mate told me that TB was on their phone while printing our book.

Btw, our scale model was one of the most presentable and detailed model in our year and our book was the first thesis book to have all working documents (normally, only the architectural plans our included but ours have architectural, structural, electrical, specifications of materials, etc). So our Thesis subject proff asked us before she grades us and our book, if we were still willing to have TBs name on the book. We told her that we only want TB to have lower grade than us, and we asked TB if its alright with them. TB just shrugged and at that point they never tried to approached us ever again until graduation. All of our classmates have also unfriended TB because TB was already slowly burning bridges at that time.

So in the end, we got an above 90 grade while TB had below 80 grade. TB transformed completely and instead of working for an architectural firm, they continued working for their pyramiding scheme business. Its a long post, but I just want to get this off because I have been feeling toxic for the whole duration of working with TB. I have hated TB for the longest time for making me a bad person by hating them so bad. TB didn't even thanked us for what we've done, we were the reason why TB even graduated. It was just so sad for me that our work was never appreciated by the one who benefited the most.

Messages

spoopy heartache October 9, 2020 9:34 am

Useless TB

Senbonzakura October 8, 2020 3:16 pm

Yo. Yall too kind. If I were u I would have immediately kicked them out of the group the first day. And how could they use kpop to miss their job like im a kpop fan myself and I would NEVER use my idols as an excuse to not do my job. Lol i feel like I should apologize to you on the behalf of that fool. Anyways I actually lost hope that there were no kind ppl in this earth haha you kinda showed me that kindness is still here. And honestly you should be angry at them. They clearly deserved alot worse than that. I understand you feelings (I'm literally feeling the second hand anger) You did a great job out there :)

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