I want to go but I feel like "I'm not sick enough" or "more people have it worse so I need to suck it up". A friend has told me to go but I couldnt bring myself to. Like the thoughts of "oh your just faking everything, nothings wrong with you" or "theres nothing wrong" I ended up not going cause the fear. Like I just feel theres something wrong with me, I'm not normal or feel normal. Sometimes I feel like I'm just exaggerating or something. I also feel like it's getting worse and imma fall into that dark place it took hard to come from. It's kinda begun, I'm not eating enough and still exercising. Theres these intrusive thoughts of self harming again. Its urging but I don't want to, I've been like almost 3 years clean. Doing it alone again and trying to get "better" is gonna be tough but I hope one day I can feel "normal" or whatever that is. Let's just smile it off and hope your fam doesnt notice like the other times you went through it, yay.
Again sorry for it being so depressing, sorry. ((￣∇￣") bottling things up isnt a great idea, I should've learned by now)
