I feel like someone should’ve made this post so I’m going to. You know how Yoonbum has bpd in Killing Stalking? Yeah so um that’s a really bad representation of bpd and paints us as really dangerous.
So yeah this is just a quick post explaining what the disorder is like. If you want to hear more watch:
https://youtu.be/3Dt9xJGPQBkAnyway bpd is a personality disorder with 9 possible symptoms (you only need five to be diagnosed.) Oh and before that I want to define a favorite person. A favorite person (fp) is basically the person someone with bpd obsesses over. For us they are our entire world and define our self worth and happiness.
I’m going to explain some of the more controversial “dangerous” seeming ones.
- frantic efforts to avoid abandonment doesn’t mean a person with bpd would kill their fp because they left them or kill someone they are in interested in.
Efforts to avoid abandonment usually manifests as constantly making sure someone still likes you, binge spending on items for your fp (I lose all of my money this way), emotional dependency, obsessively overthinking everything, cutting off contact with someone or having a suicidal breakdown/attempting because they acted slightly different (Ex: spoke with a different tone of voice) and you thought they were going to leave you, or even purposefully ruining relationships because “they were probably going to leave me anyway”. Although a lot or yandere characters canonically have this disorder (and especially this symptom), people with this disorder aren’t more likely to be violent to those they love.
-Splitting is seeing people as either wholly good or wholly bad. (Ex: my mom compliments me once and suddenly I shrug off all the times she abused me and decide she’s a perfect mother and my best friend)
-emotional intensity is basically like never being like 50% sad or 20% happy, you are either 100% happy or 100% angry. (Someone insulting me once gives me the same depression my sister dying would give me. We feel things extremely intensely) oh and typically emotions don’t last long (mine last for like an hour and then I switch to another intense emotion)
-suicidal behaviors: well like 1/10 of us die by suicide, so it’s a major risk factor for the disorder
-uncontrollable anger: emotions are super intense for us so for example my grandmother saying something shitty to me gives me the same amount of anger as seeing her kill my sister would. It’s basically like that.
People with bpd are more likely to be abused then to be abusers. Typically we had a traumatic childhood. A lot of times we have comorbid/other disorders like autism, ocd, aspd, social anxiety, did, general anxiety, ptsd, or cptsd.
40 percent of people with bpd also have a parent with bpd so that’s another risk factor.
If you want a description from someone other then me then:
Anyway if you have any question feel free to ask in the comments. This was kinda a quick explanation (even though it seems long it’s a complicated disorder so I’m trying to condense everything important into this post) so sorry if I missed something
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hi! it's a little late for this but i just have one question, i have a friend who has bpd and she has severe abandonment issues, we've only known each other for a year or so but i care so much about her and was just wondering if you might advice me what i could to reassure tthat i won't be leaving just because of her disorder. I know that this is a sensitive subject for her so i haven't asked her yet
anyways, thank u soooo much for sharing this post and informing people about this mental disorder. It genuinely makes me happy to get to know wat bpd actually is and try to understand it fully, and your post really helped me.
oh a don't feel pressured to answer this, i have already asked other people with bpd, but im looking for other perspectives. (=・ω・=)
thanks again for sharing all this
Yeah, I have a question Tree. A few questions actually. If they are too personal feel free not to answer. I’m sorry if these questions sound ignorant and come off offensive. That is not my intention. I only want to learn more about you and how you deal with bpd. Also, I’m sorry about those disgusting tiktok morons that mock you and other people with bpd. Thinking that having bpd is cool and quirky instead of a serious matter that it is. My first few questions are about your alters.
1. Are they different pieces of your personality or something else entirely?
2. You’ve mentioned that you have conversations with your alters. How does that work? Is it just like holding regular conversations?
3. This woman I watch on YouTube has bpd and she said her alters physically take over. Is that true? Does that happen for you?
My other questions are about your experiences.
1. You were saying how KS Yoonbum was a bad representation. However, was the way people treated him in the story accurate to what you have experienced? (If you have been treated badly)
2. If you get treatment for bpd, what is it like?
3. Do any of your friends know about your condition? Have you lost friends because of your condition?
4. Does anyone else in your family have bpd?
5. How do people react when you say you have bpd?
I don't have bpd but as a person who also struggles with mental illness. My heart goes out to you. And thanks for spreading awareness about this.
Ah don’t worry about it!!
And first bpd and did are different. Did is multiple personalities and bpd is a disorder with instability and fear of abandonment. They are too separate disorders, sorry if I made that confusing.
For 1) my alters are completely separate people from me. As a child a full personality wasn’t able to form for me because of constant trauma which gave me (and everyone with DID) alters.
2) it’s just like regular conversations. Like how you’d talk to a sibling. I hear their voices but I’m usually able to discern that they are coming from my head (an alter) and not another person and I also recognize their voices so it isn’t usually a problem for me
3)she probably has did (the disorder with alters) and yes. That’s switching. Basically an alter will completely take over my body and I won’t remember anything. This usually happens several times during a day if not more.
1) ah well his abuse was accurate. People with bpd can also have problems with the law like he did but we don’t sexually harass people at a higher rate then neurotypical people, if anything we are less likely to do it.
Oh and a lot of therapists refuse to treat people with DID or BPD because of how stigmatized the disorders are.
2) I get dialectal behavioral therapy sometimes and it helps me control my anger and helps a bit with self harm and impulsivity.
3) a few of my friends know about my bpd and the way my bpd affects my emotions has made me lose friends. I’m really intense and have a lot of problems and that is kinda hard to deal with. I’ve had intense suicidal breakdowns and it’s scared a lot of my friends off. I’ve annoyed a lot of them with my constant fear of being abandoned (ex: asking “are you mad at me” and “are you sure you still like me” constantly). My bpd makes me attract a lot of toxic and abusive people so those friendships are really shitty and typically end with me having a breakdown. Basically bpd makes me get abandoned a lot which makes my abandonment fears worse.
For my DID some of my friends know and a few of them distanced themselves when they found out.
4) my mom has bpd and my last two therapists think my grandmother has bpd or npd.
5) usually they immediately question me like “are you dangerous” “have you been c>tting yourself” and it’s really overwhelming
Or
Pity. Which really sucks. I hate it when people feel bad for me and treat me like a child. Or act like they have to walk on eggshells around me now.
Or sometimes people are respectful and don’t assume the worst
And thank you
Im just really happy people took the time to read and learn about it
hi! this isn’t a question but I wanted to thank you for making this post, I haven’t read ks but it really did teach me a lot so thanks again! I hope u have a wonderful day tree