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What should I do with the presents?

Winterlandkris Winterlandkris 2021-01-05 23:09:53 About talk to yourself
So I'm depressed and since it's covid and all my friends are too far away for me to visit and calling isn't enough to get it off my chest, I'm posting my frustration online.
So my mum has some friends and when one of her friends came over, she really liked me and took my number for her son.
Then her son contacted me a few days later, and we've been talking since then. That was half a year ago.
We've talked for a long time and even chatted on discord some and from what I could tell he seemed like a decent guy.
Except that when I met up with him in person, it was red flags everywhere.

First of all, you do not invite a girl into your house ON THE SECOND FACE TO FACE MEETING.
You do not invite a girl inside your house REPEATEDLY WHEN SHE SAYS "NO I WONT GO IN"

Second, if you say "Okay" to doing an activity with me- which was grocery shopping- but then complain about it later, you do not have any standing to do so. Okay, however mild of an acceptance, is an acceptance, and is consent in my book, AT ANY TIME could he have said NO but he did not do so. At any time could he have told me, "maybe we should go for something else since we're on a date" and I could have put off grocery shopping for later.
I did tell him that I can put off the grocery shopping for me to do later on my own after the date or the next day, if he so wished. But no, HE was the one who said OKAY. He even held the basket for me. Again, at any point could he have said let's not do this. But he didn't.

Third, If a girl says she's going home cause it's getting dark and she thinks it's a good point for the date to end, SHE MEANS IT. Asking "Are you seriously going home" when we were in agreement that I was going home, and I turned on the navigation on my iphone to go home---- is that not enough evidence that I'm going home? And that yes, I'm serious about going home?

Fourth, From what I know, I'm being a good driver, but if I give my phone to you and I tell you "either hold the phone, or please relay the instructions from the phone a second time because the volume is low and I may not hear it" DOES NOT MEAN that when we reach the main road and you know where we are, IT DOES NOT MEAN YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO CLOSE MY PHONE.
I never gave permission for him to do so. I told him repeatedly, "Don't do that. You don't do that to my phone. I'm going to get mad. I'm serious"
What part of that, or any of the times I repeatedly warned him that I was going to get mad did he not understand?
I never gave him permission to handle my phone like that. It's my phone. I gave him permission to do only one of those two things. If he really didn't want to, he could have just said, "No, I don't want to" or any other similar phrase.

Fifth, When I was driving him home, he suddenly asked out of the blue, "Do you have a curfew?"
I said, "No, I don't have a curfew. I just don't like driving at night."
And then he said, "So you have a curfew based upon how much sunlight there is in the day."
I just about lost my mind. I replied, "No. I don't have a curfew. I just don't driving at night."
WHAT DID HE NOT UNDERSTAND ABOUT ME SAYING I DONT HAVE A FUDGING CURFEW. Did he not understand English?!

Sixth, I almost finished driving him home, because I'm a nice host and we were in my car anyways, when he said,
"You're unfair" to me.
I was like "I'm sorry, what?"
He said, "You're unfair because the first part of this date was just us going grocery shopping
And the only way to LURE you out of the house (Yes, he actually used the word "lure") is with food and you didn't eat anything."

EXCUSE ME?! LURE? What am I, a kind of beast that needs to be tamed?
And also, it was 3pm when we met up. Even though for the first date, which also happened at 3pm, I agreed to not eat lunch before we met up, but that doesn't mean I was going to starve myself every single time before we met up. Neither did I agree to starve myself and not have lunch before we met up either. It's called respect. It's called consent.
And him acting like a child to me in that way was disgusting.

It was what, six strikes and he hits the curb? Yes, that's what I think.
But the main reason why I post this here is because I want to ask ya'll what I should do.
He gave me christmas presents, and I'm debating on whether to keep them or toss them (Ranging from Chocolates to desserts and macaroons to a pair of earphones to a music box with my favourite song).
What should I do with them?

Messages

Neya Sequiela January 6, 2021 12:51 am

Oh just randomly reading some posts here for the first time.
First, remind yourself that you are not obligated to eat and use the stuff given by a certain person (the guy).
Second, if you EVER feel that the gifts are given to you with a sincere heart or like its not a way for you to be guilty and the like, then no problem in using the stuff he gave and eat the chocolates ( if you like them of course but if not then give them to other people).
Lastly, be honest with him and tell him frankly about your feelings. (talking about your uncomfortableness)

♡ May ♡ January 6, 2021 12:38 am

He sounds like a whiny 10 year old, I hope you never contact him again. As for the presents, I would keep them because they would be the only good thing that came out of it and why waste them? Don't give them(or him, because you deserve better!) much thought and just enjoy them.

Confused Academicia January 6, 2021 12:30 am

You sounds like you are just abt done with this person and I get that you feel uncomfortable enough to not have anything of them be around you
But I am a firm believer that edible food should be consumed
Whoever consumed it doesn't matter
For other stuff
Keep the stuff that you need, the rest? Give it away
You're not obligated to be emotionally attached to them anyway

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