What do I want?

A simple answer would be “Money.” Do I want money? I don't know. What do I want? Do I want to be happy? Not really. Do I want to die? I’m neutral about it but wouldn’t it be a waste? What does the word “Want” truly mean? For example, you’ve got an allowance from your parents. What do you want with that money? We all have our desires but I see myself as drifting from my life. I don’t want anything? Do I want something? I want to fully grasp what im feeling. It is so annoying I hate it I hate to have the feeling that I can't grasp it but at the same time I give it up so easily. Why am I like this? Why am I such a weakling? Am I disgusting? Why am I doing this? Why am I feeling something I do not want to feel? What is want? What do I want? What do you want? What is it? What am I?