Sorry, guys! During system maintenance, some functions like comment are unavailable.
is this okay???
i’m asking here cuz i seriously don’t know who to go to. short backstory, i have a group of friends that i’ve been with way baaaack and i ranted to them (idek if my grammar’s right right now cuz my mind’s just like all over the place”, i was ranting about the amount of schoolworks (i messaged them in a group chat btw) i had since i was from a diff. school, then one of my friend comes at me and lowkey invalidated the stress i’m feeling right now. like he’s comparing their work to my work and saying things like he’s got it harder. and then i sort of lost it when he said that, i sarcastically told him “wow, you must’ve been suffering from all that. you definitely have it waaaay harder than me.” and he’s like “ikr”??? i just left him on read and he messaged me directly saying that it was a joke and said those things to make me “motivated that he’s having a harder time than me and that i shouldn’t rant about nonsensical things.” and he didn’t say sorry, so now i’m overthinking if this is my fault or his?? i’m overthinking rn cuz literally no one in the group chat’s acknowledging the fact that i’m literally hurt and feel like my feelings are invalid??? am i being needy or should i just let them be??? ┗( T﹏T )┛
I absolutely hate people who invalidate other's feelings like this :/ no, that's not okay and honestly it doesn't sound like this person is someone who's good for you to keep around. But maybe you could tell them how it made you feel? But if they continue to do this then I suggest you distance yourself from them uhh good luck! 1 reply
If it’s bothering you a lot then you should just talk to him about it not in a aggressive way. But if you’ve been friends for a while there should be no problem telling him how you felt about it I mean it’s better the storing it in your head an agonizing over it. Idk though I have like one friend I talk to for like a total of 5 minutes a week...... 1 reply
Your friend is definitely at fault here? If anything he needs to apologize for invalidating your feelings and issues, no one's problems should be made to seem lesser or insignificant just because there are people dealing with worse. He's not the one dealing with your workload and your stress isn't going to disappear just because he has more work. reply
I don't think you are overthinking tbh. I do agree that it is frustrating to hear stuffs like that. I think, like most ppl said, you can speak about it to him. Trying to relate with each other is fine but invalidating other's feelings isn't. I hope your friend understands this. If he still doesn't care then i guess you just have to distance yoursel...... reply
It’s kinda normal for friends and acquaintances to ‘one up’ others. It’s not necessarily done to invalidate you, but merely a product of being a bit self centred. After all, the topic we know best is ourselves.
My advice though, is to keep those friends at a little distance under the “social friends” heading. These are the friends who ...... reply
