maaad

Honestly I am sorry if I shouldn't submit this here...
I've honestly never vented on the internet, believe it or not (maybe yes but it probs was just small talk lol)...But now thoughts overflowed and I need to get this out of my system even if no one reads it or replies. LOL

AND JUST A HEADS-UP: YOU DON'T REALLY HAVE THINK TOO DEEPLY ABT THIS, I AM A CHILL PERSON BUT I HAD ENOUGH NOW AND I WANNA GET THESE THOUGHTS OUT OF MY SYSTEM...:(((
Also I don't mean to offend anyone!

I've seen some twisted shit in BL mangas/doujins (even outside of this genre unfortunately) and I am so careful, I always check the cover, the title and when these are misleading I also check the comments....but those can be misleading, too....and sometimes I'm too f*cken curious and read the thing anyways (I will talk about this, too)

So yeah I saw the cover for some doujin and I didn't read the thing at first, but then I saw it the other day and I thought: 'Ugh, lest read the comments...see what happens..'
I read the comments and they were kinda promising that the pretty guy would top and other things but then when I fckin read the story....some ugly ass man r*ped the guy and another one was wathing, I got so pissed and disgusted...AND I ONLY 'READ' THE FIRST PART...it was in japanes so I could really read it anyway..
and you know what's funny, it has fucking 3 or even 4 days since then and I am still so pissed...even though I've seen many things, too...

Also now that we are at the 'twisted' things I wanna mention some I find gross af, too:
-old farts/ugly men in BL - I honestly find this the most disgusting
-r*pe - I even hate hearing or reading the word so f*ck no, also I think it is too overused nowadays...
-mob (or how tf you call it) - gross. i mentioned it bc it's gross...bye
-tentacle porn - i find it just as disgusting as the first one...

and it's only 4 which I remembered rn and only 4 out of many more gross things...
I know some of yall have seen even more dafjhjg
but I DON'T REALLY WANT TO HEAR MORE OR EVEN WORSE EXAMPLES PLS ;;

So when I accidentally come across something like that, I immediately think that: 'How can a person/author write/draw something like this????' or 'Is the person who thought of this is insane or what?' 'I would punch them in the face for this..' AND LASTLY 'I would never write or draw anything like this even if they payed me wtf..'

I only get really curious when the art is good...but unfortunately disappointing sh*t can happen lmfao..

But then in the end of the day I know it's only fiction. uwu
BUT THE PROBLEM IS THAT I KNOW IT'S FICTION AND I AM STILL PISSED adfdgfhyddsfy
I got better at calming and cheering myself on but sometimes it gets hard bc things of these even tho it's not that deep tm.

SORRY THIS BECAME TOO LONG BUT If you read this till the end then wow thank you for your time and you honestly don't have to think too deeply about it, I am a chill person but I got pissed too easily now, so I just wanted to let it out! :')