I know this is unusual, but is anyone else here a christian? Because you do not know how guilty and dirty I feel knowing that I have been a fujoshi for years ago (more than 8 years) and I always felt bad for hiding it from my parents so much, now that things are difficult, I do not know how to leave it, it is truly an addiction, I mean it, know it may not sound that serious, but since last year I have been reading manga almost all day, every week and every time, it is bad for my eyes too (due to vision problems). And I don't know, I guess I just needed someone to know this. I know that for most people to relate the harmless reading of a manga with a belief is ridiculous, but I have read so many horrible things, and at the time, I have enjoyed them. Now remembering it only makes me sad because I know that the time I use to read all those things I could have used it for something better (like the violin classes that I am currently leaving due to the same lack of discipline) and I am not apologizing, I know that It's my fault, but now I feel like I can't leave the same way I got here, not so easy.
I'm a Muslim, we both believe in a different religion but we're Humans, I feel your pain and know the guilt but it's not bad to like yaoi/BL, No one can wrong you for liking something, and you know there are other people just like you! (๑•ㅂ•)و✧
Its fine thoo. You don't have to take too seriously. I've been a fujoshi for years and no one in my family knew I read this type of genre. My family, especially my mom is a very religious person. I even have a priest and nun relatives on my mother's side. As long as you don't apply the bad stuff yourself then its fine. Its like when people watched gore, killing or smex films. You just have to draw a fine line between fiction and reality and you will be clean. For me, I don't feel guilty at all.
I was just like you before, I've been think about my parent and also my religion. but I'm also upset about them keeping something from me, i was really stressed that time and the only thing that can make me relieved and forget the problems is reading yaoi. I don't want it too but I can't deny the reality that I'm so into it now..
All I can say is you're not alone. I can't really tell you to feel a certain way because I don't know you personally and I can only offer you my situation, which is not identical to yours but I too believe I have an addiction. Mine I feel is very intense because it goes beyond just reading, (aka fap material, sorry if that's vulgar but I want to be honest) and I'm feeling guilty about it because I have recently become closer to religion/God. In the past I haven't been but things have changed, and now reading and doing dirty things leaves a guilty feeling. All I can say is, don't be afraid to talk to God. I have, and not necessarily to repent or anything like that, but just to be honest and ask for understanding. (If not, talk to anyone else in your life, and if there's no one that could understand, at the risk at sounding cliche, I'm here and everyone else who probably feels similar on this site.) Addiction is a real thing and I want you to know that taking it day by day is the best way. Like you, I have definitely lacked motivation/discipline in the past years for the same reason. Aside from hiding it from my parents, I've stopped seeking friendships, lost job opportunities, missed university classwork, social events; I don't know how old you are but I graduated last year from college and I know I should have better discipline than I do now so I feel even worse but I'm slowly getting into changing things about me and it's definitely not easy. However there is time. I believe it doesn't mean you should quit reading things you enjoy (if you still enjoy it) just slowly making it manageable. I guess all I'm saying is you're not alone in that feeling of addiction/guilt afterwards, especially feeling like you can't leave it. Don't be too hard on yourself, I'm trying not to be on myself because that leads to a very dark headspace. Thanks for sharing this since this is the first I've had the guts to discuss my situation as well.
My parents are. I wouldn't say I am actually a christian because I don't pray or anything which is probably why I don't feel as guilty as you do, but trust me when I say I will die if my parents found out. I've only been a fujoshi for a few months and I've seen a bunch of lewd crap and I enjoy them like any other fujoshi would. Now, it's impossible to leave something you enjoy or love, so live with it and know that you at least enjoy it or if you feel THAT guilty then just distract yourself with important things, like those violin lessons, or other things you enjoy. Also, there's a lot more of people like us, so you're not the only one. Im not good at comforting or advice, hope this did something.
I'm a Christian and have been addicted for 8 years as well. And yes, I always feel convicted about this and constantly go in circles because I know how wrong it all is... You're not alone
This may be a cliché thing to say, but priorities are priorities. And they always depend on you. Between reading and taking up the violin, they both should be important based on how happy you are while you’re doing them. As for your parents, I doubt that a detail such as what you are reading would change the fact that you’re their child. Blood is blood, and parents are parents. Annnddd im not Dr. Phil but I hope this gives you a bit of peace ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶
I find myself in a similar boat as you.This is such a vice that has taken over my life, and it does nothing for me. How many hours do I spend wasting away on this stuff that I could be doing something to benefit myself? Not to mention it doesn't make me any happier after I've read it, just leaving me with the same gross, empty feeling you have. I think your post has opened my eyes to something I have pushed away for too long, even though that sounds cheesy.
I feel you need to not be so hard on yourself. I know growing up religious can make you feel guilty for liking something like yaoi but you shouldn't. I get that there can be stigmas for liking things like not only in religion but at the end of the day is it hurting you or anyone to read it? No. Is it bringing you happiness? Yes. Only thing I see a problem with is your eye sight. But if you were working a desk job you'd be staring at a screen all day anyways haha. But maybe take a break after reading a couple chapters than go back to it. Other than that enjoy your fujoshi self!
Messages
I'm a Muslim,
we both believe in a different religion but we're Humans,
I feel your pain and know the guilt but it's not bad to like yaoi/BL,
No one can wrong you for liking something, and you know there are other
people just like you!
(๑•ㅂ•)و✧
Its fine thoo. You don't have to take too seriously. I've been a fujoshi for years and no one in my family knew I read this type of genre. My family, especially my mom is a very religious person. I even have a priest and nun relatives on my mother's side. As long as you don't apply the bad stuff yourself then its fine. Its like when people watched gore, killing or smex films. You just have to draw a fine line between fiction and reality and you will be clean. For me, I don't feel guilty at all.
I was just like you before, I've been think about my parent and also my religion. but I'm also upset about them keeping something from me, i was really stressed that time and the only thing that can make me relieved and forget the problems is reading yaoi. I don't want it too but I can't deny the reality that I'm so into it now..
All I can say is you're not alone. I can't really tell you to feel a certain way because I don't know you personally and I can only offer you my situation, which is not identical to yours but I too believe I have an addiction. Mine I feel is very intense because it goes beyond just reading, (aka fap material, sorry if that's vulgar but I want to be honest) and I'm feeling guilty about it because I have recently become closer to religion/God. In the past I haven't been but things have changed, and now reading and doing dirty things leaves a guilty feeling. All I can say is, don't be afraid to talk to God. I have, and not necessarily to repent or anything like that, but just to be honest and ask for understanding. (If not, talk to anyone else in your life, and if there's no one that could understand, at the risk at sounding cliche, I'm here and everyone else who probably feels similar on this site.) Addiction is a real thing and I want you to know that taking it day by day is the best way. Like you, I have definitely lacked motivation/discipline in the past years for the same reason. Aside from hiding it from my parents, I've stopped seeking friendships, lost job opportunities, missed university classwork, social events; I don't know how old you are but I graduated last year from college and I know I should have better discipline than I do now so I feel even worse but I'm slowly getting into changing things about me and it's definitely not easy. However there is time. I believe it doesn't mean you should quit reading things you enjoy (if you still enjoy it) just slowly making it manageable. I guess all I'm saying is you're not alone in that feeling of addiction/guilt afterwards, especially feeling like you can't leave it. Don't be too hard on yourself, I'm trying not to be on myself because that leads to a very dark headspace. Thanks for sharing this since this is the first I've had the guts to discuss my situation as well.
My parents are. I wouldn't say I am actually a christian because I don't pray or anything which is probably why I don't feel as guilty as you do, but trust me when I say I will die if my parents found out. I've only been a fujoshi for a few months and I've seen a bunch of lewd crap and I enjoy them like any other fujoshi would. Now, it's impossible to leave something you enjoy or love, so live with it and know that you at least enjoy it or if you feel THAT guilty then just distract yourself with important things, like those violin lessons, or other things you enjoy. Also, there's a lot more of people like us, so you're not the only one. Im not good at comforting or advice, hope this did something.
I'm a Christian and have been addicted for 8 years as well. And yes, I always feel convicted about this and constantly go in circles because I know how wrong it all is... You're not alone
This may be a cliché thing to say, but priorities are priorities. And they always depend on you. Between reading and taking up the violin, they both should be important based on how happy you are while you’re doing them. As for your parents, I doubt that a detail such as what you are reading would change the fact that you’re their child. Blood is blood, and parents are parents. Annnddd im not Dr. Phil but I hope this gives you a bit of peace ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶
I find myself in a similar boat as you.This is such a vice that has taken over my life, and it does nothing for me. How many hours do I spend wasting away on this stuff that I could be doing something to benefit myself? Not to mention it doesn't make me any happier after I've read it, just leaving me with the same gross, empty feeling you have. I think your post has opened my eyes to something I have pushed away for too long, even though that sounds cheesy.
I feel you need to not be so hard on yourself. I know growing up religious can make you feel guilty for liking something like yaoi but you shouldn't. I get that there can be stigmas for liking things like not only in religion but at the end of the day is it hurting you or anyone to read it? No. Is it bringing you happiness? Yes. Only thing I see a problem with is your eye sight. But if you were working a desk job you'd be staring at a screen all day anyways haha. But maybe take a break after reading a couple chapters than go back to it. Other than that enjoy your fujoshi self!
This makes my heart hurt