Memory about an acquaintance to reconsider

I grew up through most of high school into uni people pleasing, which lead me to not show when I felt uncomfortable.

I was in high school and a friend of mine drew a small picture of me laughing and labeled it with a title. I’d been gaining a lot of weight that year and was a bit insecure about it. He titled it “greasy pig” and showed it to me asking if it was a good drawing. I didn’t want to show how upset I was with my weight at the time and just laughed along saying it was drawn so well.

Catching up with the same person these days, when they open certain topics with me, I find myself again trying not to show that I’m uncomfortable. What bullshit.

I didn’t invest all these years in meaningful conversations in relationships, only for them to exist bc I’m avoiding important details. That I can’t face the fact that maybe I wasn’t surrounding myself with the right kind of people, and that some of these friendships only make it this far bc I’m not honest about how hurt I am by who they are