im lwk going crazy finding out that im not good at anything, art? no people don't even like my art, all i see is pity because i don't get any attraction from the way i draw, studies? all im good at is mathematics and that's end of discussion, looks? again just pity from ppl because at the end ik im not goodlooking so i work out like crazy still no one likes me, at least i have personality right? nope *huge buzz sound* wrong nothing about me is interesting, i feel so useless i tried everything, i have no idea what to do to be loved anymore, any advices how to be more likable?
Hello :) I have read your problem and the responses down here, and all I can say is that I can feel your frustration as I have already been there.
Don't take it personally but I'll be brutally honest: you've been putting a lot of effort into various activities to find something that resonates with OTHERS and makes you feel VALUED. And this is a HUGE MISTAKE YOU'VE DONE. If you don't feel satiated with the results of your activities, you'll never be genuinely happy. Your worth isn't defined by external validation or others' opinions first of all. Second, even if people compliment you and might be genuine about it, you still doubt it because you don't feel it in your soul that others are truly appreciating you.
If you don't feel happy about your results and other people's appreciation it could be mainly due to two reasons: 1) You get so many compliments in your daily life for your art and for your achievements in general, that it almost became numb and superficial to you. Again... nothing against you, just stating the facts, whether you like it or not. 2) It could be subconsciously a response to some sort of trauma that you experienced at some point in your life. Could be, for example, that your parents always took for granted your efforts and results. If you think this might be the case, then I suggest you to go to a therapist. No one can help you in this case because that hollow you have inside you can only be treated by you and a therapist that will guide you on how to fill it. Not your girlfriend (or boyfriend), not your parents, not your siblings nor any friend. Not even the fans that compliment you for your art.
Prepare yourself because it's going to be hard. It was for me as well, specifically at the beginning. I also am a person that achieved a lot academically and in the sport field, was always surrounded by people and was an extrovert that always laughed etc... But nothing truly made me happy, and if it did... it was temporary. To heal myself I became an introvert, stopped doing sports, reduced my friendships to 5 (yes, it might seem a very small number but at the end of the day, I realised they were the only ones that cared about me), concentrated on the thing I liked which was studying and deleted many socials. This abundance of yours is making you feel overwhelmed and is only frustrating you as you can't feel satisfied. Instead of doing too much, restart from zero. Lessen your friendship by deleting the fake people in your life, get rid of things that you don't use in your room etc.. Get rid of everything that makes you uncomfortable and work on yourself. Whether they are material or abstract.
Not gonna lie darling, it's something that I've worked on since middle school and now I'm almost 23. My therapist told me that this kind of loneliness is something that people can live with until their death. Sad? Yes. But what can you do about it? I accepted it otherwise I'd live a miserable life full of lies. I'd be the most miserable hypocrite. So you gotta admit it too and live with it. What you are feeling is solid loneliness.
Last advice: a thing that works a lot is expressing your feelings, especially the bad ones. Think of it as a vent but in a material way. For instance, when I was at my lowest, I started writing poetry on Wattpad. They were all about solitude and melancholy. It helped a lot. Some do it by writing a diary and other by singing or writing songs. You have a talent: art. You could express your feelings with art. Change maybe the style, learn a new one that will convey your feelings in a more sharp and raw way. Also, another thing that helped me is aiding people that are unfortunate. I donate a certain amount of money regularly and send my good/new clothes to girls of my age that are maybe in war or too poor (I'm referring to the situations in the middle east and Africa). Again, I'm doing this for my own selfish desire to feel good about myself and these girls will never know but that's my brutal and selfish way of doing good deeds. I always try to be kind and forgiveful so that I can appreciate life and other's happiness and I advise you to do so. Find some way that could give you this kind of interior peace. Call me a hypocrite and whatever, I won't deny it but like I said above, Im being brutally honest and that's how reality is.
Anyways, good luck and work hard to get this inner peace that you need. Bye
ps: yesterday my compliment about your art was genuine and not out of pity xD
thank you uno, i do take therapy and very aware that it stims from trauma so no amount of therapy and self love would fill the void that i just will never feel enough sounds like u beenu alot and i hope ur doing well, have a good day
Jamie.. gang you won first place to a mathematics competition , u're like crazy handsome n i ain even glazin like u have nice eyes small face, good jawline, positive canthal tilt, slim nose, MUSCLES, WIDE SHOULDERS, A GNARLY AHH BACK, i have 0 idea why ur ass keep gettin dees type of issues when you have so many friends who cares about you?? WDYM NO ONE LIKES YOU ur very likable idk who tf ur tryna appeal to but they gotta be a pi'za shi STFU IM SO TIRED OF UR BIPOLAR AH LOVE URSELF THE WAY ILY BBG
WHATEVER TF IM DOING STILL NOT ENOUGH, like the fact my house is not filled with love letters is just criminal, I AINT WANTED ENOUGH PPL GOTTA HUNT ME DOWN LIKE IM SOME TYPA RARE SPECIES, i want them to show up at my doorstep begging you feel me? I DONT WANT COMPLIMENTS I WANT FANSSS
WHATEVER TF IM DOING STILL NOT ENOUGH, like the fact my house is not filled with love letters is just criminal, I AINT WANTED ENOUGH PPL GOTTA HUNT ME DOWN LIKE IM SOME TYPA RARE SPECIES, i want them to show up... no.
Wow damn let me multiply myself U GOOD THO??? i feel like this was never abt validation in the 1st place, u just don't love yrself so you try to fill that love ur missing from yrself with validation n attention it fs ain't working
God this is so relatable, it's like I've been in the gray area, being the average person at everything. But one thing I've experienced is that you get what you want when you stop wanting it. So liking yourself and being fine with being alone and doing what you like the most is better. In terms of people liking you, it's hard I'm aware, people can like you one day and not like you the other day, the crave of being liked and loved never stops. And maybe people do like you, I think if you stick to the hobby or goal or subject you love the most and approach people who share the hobbies similar to you would make you in an equal position and it would have you confident too, and that's attractive ok. What I'm trying to say is that you shouldn't mold yourself into what the person you wanna be friends with likes, but rather try to befriend a person who already likes what you like. It still won't be easy but good luck!
ah thank you but i think there's more complexity to it, idk i can't like myself no matter what if not alot of ppl like me if you get what i mean, if i don't get at least 3 compliments a day i feel like no body wants me there and i'm completely useless with no purpose. I don't wanna appeal to just one person, i wanna appeal to anyone i see basically just to clear that up, hope you have a good day
what? no one genuinely likes my art, like all i ever got was just pity because people feel bad no.
I like your art, thats genuine. Idk what other people see but i really like how you use colors and draw anatomy. Not to mention, your artstyle is one of a kind yet also pleasant
the thing is that like ik there's people who like me but i just feel like it isn't enough, i just feel ig so mediocre? bc i don't learn all these fucking things for just a few people, i want more people to like me if that makes sense
i tried getting good at sports like basketball, soccer i tried playing instruments like piano, saxophone i tried niche interests like fountain pen collecting, pc specs i tried popular interests like playing games, reading books, getting into acting, singing LAWDDD U CAN NAME ANYTHING AND I ALREADY TRIED IT, still i have no idea why no one likes me genuinely
i think you are looking for the wrong people babes, first do you genuinely like yourself, if yes this won't really be a big problem for you it will just take time, secondly what kind of friends are you looking for, are you looking for someone to tell you your great and you do no wrong, will not scold you and has the same opinion as you, and can easily separate/abandon from you when shit hits the fan.
Or are you looking for some one who you can give time and energy to and they will give it back, will call you out on your bull, different opinions and will still welcome you with open arms not trying to change your mind to fit their image, you can trust them no matter what rain or shine.
Cause depending on what you are looking for you got to take different approach, it very easy to find the first one just stick to one gimmick and you will find them, they are literally every wear even on this site. The second one you have to actually have a personality not necessarily attractive, it just has to be honest and good genuinely and hopefully a friend will turn up, cause a lot of people today don't know how to be the second type of friend cause that one actually loves you for you and not for what group or interest you represent.
So think about it this way.......sorry if it's too long
i think you are looking for the wrong people babes, first do you genuinely like yourself, if yes this won't really be a big problem for you it will just take time, secondly what kind of friends are you looking ... rErE
thank youuu i get way too many of the first type where everyone keeps giving me souless compliments that i can immediately tell they don't mean it, im surrounded by dickriders basically, can't even see the second type anywhere when i give everyone all energy i have, every fiber of my body just to get the same type of affection back and yet they don't even give me any back, i want them to genuinely like me and being with me as a friend
thank youuu i get way too many of the first type where everyone keeps giving me souless compliments that i can immediately tell they don't mean it, im surrounded by dickriders basically, can't even see the seco... no.
i got you, i experience the same thing, have made genuine friends but distance and country is a big factor at some point i told myself if i can't get good people i will just be happy in myself, happy that i happy and do things i enjoy
Messages
Dad are you drunk?
HAHA HOWD YK i was like 3 bottles of peach soju in
Hello :)
I have read your problem and the responses down here, and all I can say is that I can feel your frustration as I have already been there.
Don't take it personally but I'll be brutally honest:
you've been putting a lot of effort into various activities to find something that resonates with OTHERS and makes you feel VALUED. And this is a HUGE MISTAKE YOU'VE DONE. If you don't feel satiated with the results of your activities, you'll never be genuinely happy. Your worth isn't defined by external validation or others' opinions first of all. Second, even if people compliment you and might be genuine about it, you still doubt it because you don't feel it in your soul that others are truly appreciating you.
If you don't feel happy about your results and other people's appreciation it could be mainly due to two reasons:
1) You get so many compliments in your daily life for your art and for your achievements in general, that it almost became numb and superficial to you. Again... nothing against you, just stating the facts, whether you like it or not.
2) It could be subconsciously a response to some sort of trauma that you experienced at some point in your life. Could be, for example, that your parents always took for granted your efforts and results. If you think this might be the case, then I suggest you to go to a therapist. No one can help you in this case because that hollow you have inside you can only be treated by you and a therapist that will guide you on how to fill it. Not your girlfriend (or boyfriend), not your parents, not your siblings nor any friend. Not even the fans that compliment you for your art.
Prepare yourself because it's going to be hard. It was for me as well, specifically at the beginning. I also am a person that achieved a lot academically and in the sport field, was always surrounded by people and was an extrovert that always laughed etc... But nothing truly made me happy, and if it did... it was temporary. To heal myself I became an introvert, stopped doing sports, reduced my friendships to 5 (yes, it might seem a very small number but at the end of the day, I realised they were the only ones that cared about me), concentrated on the thing I liked which was studying and deleted many socials.
This abundance of yours is making you feel overwhelmed and is only frustrating you as you can't feel satisfied. Instead of doing too much, restart from zero. Lessen your friendship by deleting the fake people in your life, get rid of things that you don't use in your room etc.. Get rid of everything that makes you uncomfortable and work on yourself. Whether they are material or abstract.
Not gonna lie darling, it's something that I've worked on since middle school and now I'm almost 23. My therapist told me that this kind of loneliness is something that people can live with until their death. Sad? Yes. But what can you do about it? I accepted it otherwise I'd live a miserable life full of lies. I'd be the most miserable hypocrite. So you gotta admit it too and live with it. What you are feeling is solid loneliness.
Last advice: a thing that works a lot is expressing your feelings, especially the bad ones. Think of it as a vent but in a material way. For instance, when I was at my lowest, I started writing poetry on Wattpad. They were all about solitude and melancholy. It helped a lot. Some do it by writing a diary and other by singing or writing songs. You have a talent: art. You could express your feelings with art. Change maybe the style, learn a new one that will convey your feelings in a more sharp and raw way.
Also, another thing that helped me is aiding people that are unfortunate. I donate a certain amount of money regularly and send my good/new clothes to girls of my age that are maybe in war or too poor (I'm referring to the situations in the middle east and Africa). Again, I'm doing this for my own selfish desire to feel good about myself and these girls will never know but that's my brutal and selfish way of doing good deeds. I always try to be kind and forgiveful so that I can appreciate life and other's happiness and I advise you to do so. Find some way that could give you this kind of interior peace. Call me a hypocrite and whatever, I won't deny it but like I said above, Im being brutally honest and that's how reality is.
Anyways, good luck and work hard to get this inner peace that you need. Bye
ps: yesterday my compliment about your art was genuine and not out of pity xD
Or maybe you just want to be always at the center of attention BAHAHAHAHA boi wanna be a superstar xD jk obv
thank you uno, i do take therapy and very aware that it stims from trauma so no amount of therapy and self love would fill the void that i just will never feel enough
sounds like u beenu alot and i hope ur doing well, have a good day
Jamie.. gang you won first place to a mathematics competition , u're like crazy handsome n i ain even glazin like u have nice eyes small face, good jawline, positive canthal tilt, slim nose, MUSCLES, WIDE SHOULDERS, A GNARLY AHH BACK, i have 0 idea why ur ass keep gettin dees type of issues when you have so many friends who cares about you?? WDYM NO ONE LIKES YOU ur very likable idk who tf ur tryna appeal to but they gotta be a pi'za shi STFU IM SO TIRED OF UR BIPOLAR AH LOVE URSELF THE WAY ILY BBG
WHATEVER TF IM DOING STILL NOT ENOUGH, like the fact my house is not filled with love letters is just criminal, I AINT WANTED ENOUGH PPL GOTTA HUNT ME DOWN LIKE IM SOME TYPA RARE SPECIES, i want them to show up at my doorstep begging you feel me? I DONT WANT COMPLIMENTS I WANT FANSSS
Wow damn let me multiply myself U GOOD THO??? i feel like this was never abt validation in the 1st place, u just don't love yrself so you try to fill that love ur missing from yrself with validation n attention it fs ain't working
God this is so relatable, it's like I've been in the gray area, being the average person at everything. But one thing I've experienced is that you get what you want when you stop wanting it. So liking yourself and being fine with being alone and doing what you like the most is better. In terms of people liking you, it's hard I'm aware, people can like you one day and not like you the other day, the crave of being liked and loved never stops. And maybe people do like you, I think if you stick to the hobby or goal or subject you love the most and approach people who share the hobbies similar to you would make you in an equal position and it would have you confident too, and that's attractive ok. What I'm trying to say is that you shouldn't mold yourself into what the person you wanna be friends with likes, but rather try to befriend a person who already likes what you like. It still won't be easy but good luck!
ah thank you but i think there's more complexity to it, idk i can't like myself no matter what if not alot of ppl like me if you get what i mean, if i don't get at least 3 compliments a day i feel like no body wants me there and i'm completely useless with no purpose. I don't wanna appeal to just one person, i wanna appeal to anyone i see basically just to clear that up, hope you have a good day
Dad stfu ur art 10x better than mine
what? no one genuinely likes my art, like all i ever got was just pity because people feel bad
I like your art, thats genuine. Idk what other people see but i really like how you use colors and draw anatomy. Not to mention, your artstyle is one of a kind yet also pleasant
Dad be fr your a great at art ALSO I HAVE A NEW BRO???
I don't think it's possible no one likes you after you have so much experience! We can talk if you would like to I'm pretty sure I would like you
the thing is that like ik there's people who like me but i just feel like it isn't enough, i just feel ig so mediocre? bc i don't learn all these fucking things for just a few people, i want more people to like me if that makes sense
i tried getting good at sports like basketball, soccer
i tried playing instruments like piano, saxophone
i tried niche interests like fountain pen collecting, pc specs
i tried popular interests like playing games, reading books, getting into acting, singing
LAWDDD U CAN NAME ANYTHING AND I ALREADY TRIED IT, still i have no idea why no one likes me genuinely
i think you are looking for the wrong people babes, first do you genuinely like yourself, if yes this won't really be a big problem for you it will just take time, secondly what kind of friends are you looking for, are you looking for someone to tell you your great and you do no wrong, will not scold you and has the same opinion as you, and can easily separate/abandon from you when shit hits the fan.
Or are you looking for some one who you can give time and energy to and they will give it back, will call you out on your bull, different opinions and will still welcome you with open arms not trying to change your mind to fit their image, you can trust them no matter what rain or shine.
Cause depending on what you are looking for you got to take different approach, it very easy to find the first one just stick to one gimmick and you will find them, they are literally every wear even on this site. The second one you have to actually have a personality not necessarily attractive, it just has to be honest and good genuinely and hopefully a friend will turn up, cause a lot of people today don't know how to be the second type of friend cause that one actually loves you for you and not for what group or interest you represent.
So think about it this way.......sorry if it's too long
thank youuu i get way too many of the first type where everyone keeps giving me souless compliments that i can immediately tell they don't mean it, im surrounded by dickriders basically, can't even see the second type anywhere when i give everyone all energy i have, every fiber of my body just to get the same type of affection back and yet they don't even give me any back, i want them to genuinely like me and being with me as a friend
i got you, i experience the same thing, have made genuine friends but distance and country is a big factor at some point i told myself if i can't get good people i will just be happy in myself, happy that i happy and do things i enjoy