I need help finding a manga

Imma sum it up in bullet points since it is shorter that way:

- BL/second chance at life/ traumatic past life
- MC is a human, has holy powers and is a Pontifex
- MC was forced? to be together with ML, who was abusive and even broke his ankles once
- ML was the strongest Jin?(different species with sharp ears) and emperor

- In MCs second chance it life, he tries to be nice to a child, who is revealed the Emperor (hid through magic cube?)
- MC is so upset that they stab themselves and pukes


Y’all I really wanted to read it again I know this is kind of vague ? I would really appreciate help