Hi, it's been a while (imAbutthole)

I'm not sure if there are still ppl that will recognize me . I was VERY VERY active on mgg forums back then . I was addicted to this site during quarantine. Bro my attention seeking self found heaven here. So I did everything I could for the attention as long as my morals could afford it. Thought I was so cooked back then that I'd be alone forever. Growing old lonely was my biggest fear back then and now. I knew I was fueling that fear more by not seeking out friendships irl but i was too far gone. The dopamine rush I get whenever I see a notification from a post or a reply was too addicting to let go. But unfortunately or fortunately, life does what life does. My competitiveness sparked once again in academics. Through this, i was able to connect with my peers, even though i was struggling HEAVILY with communication as I was not used to talking with anyone irl without stumbling on my words. This was 2022. Then it continued to 2023. That year I've decided that I'm gonna take it up a notch and to abandon baby steps and leap away from my comfort zone more. Thanks to this, I have now gained confidence and I'm able to hold a conversation good. I would still stutter and be awkward but hey, I've got a boyfriend now so it's fine .

Yk, this all really started when the forum was down. It was devastating as my only form of connection with the outside world was taken away. But thanks to it, I was able to find more deeper and meaningful connections outside of just likes on my posts. Idek why I'm saying all this. This might be cringe to y'all but I've long accepted I will always be cringe to someone. I just hope all of you find satisfaction and contentment in life like how I did. Or much better. I'm still chronically online but I'm proud to say I've grown and still growing.


There IS hope. You can still work on yourself. I believe in you. You're redeemable as long as you allow yourself to accept that there are times that you should listen to other ppl's advices that stemmed from good intentions for you. Love you.