I just want to end myself atp

Why can't these people just leave me the fuck alone? I already broke up with him. I already lost most of my friends. Why are they still stirring up dramas? I've apologised for making them feel hurt. I did everything they asked. They were calling me a weirdo for "apologising alot" when I genuinely felt bad for them. My mom is saying shitty things to me and telling me it's ithm or sins for those who aren't muslims cus I feel this way. Saying I'm suffering because I had my own boyfriend see my hair. They refuse to let me see a therapist.