Death

Hi guys, I know this isn’t like a “good” place to talk about this, but I just wanted to get it out now.

Today, I found out that someone dear to me died, but they didn’t die now, but earlier in year. I was sitting my A-levels during this period, so I guess my parents didn’t want to let me know in case in may disrupt me during the exams.

When I found out about it, I didn’t really have much of a reaction, like I wasn’t balling my eyes out like my siblings, I was just sat there not saying a word or thinking much of it. I am a crier, like reading or watching something sad tends to make me cry, like even the smallest of things, but when it comes to people’s deaths, I don’t tend to feel much. Is this weird?

But I also feel a hint of guilt, probably because I should have known. If I was in contact with them, if I just talked to them a bit more, I would have found out something wasn’t right, they were with me since I was young, so I’m feeling a bit empty now, but still, no sadness no nothing, but I do feel relief, knowing that she’s in a better place now