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AM I THE ASSHOLE?
Spending my last minutes of internet to write this before it cuts but I wanna know if I was the asshole in this situation. I will tell it as unbiased as I can.
Went to dinner tonight. Rage baiting my younger sister. Keep in mind i rage bait very tame like as in saying “don’t get lost” when we are walking to a clear entry point kinda thing. Very tame easy mode jokes.
We get into pub and sit down, all night my sister is just kinda being mean but she is every night, like like telling me im stupid and stuff like that (I’m very up in cloud 9 seeming btw like “ohohoho silly baby sister she’s so funny” until she gets more and more pushy with how she treats me).
Going on 5 day “vacation” 30 mins from house idk why. Said I need to think of something for my bird so he can eat fresh and im just thinking that paying for a bird minder when I’m only 30 mins away is silly and I express that thought out loud and next to me my sister says “why don’t you just stay home then” but in a *are you dense* kinda way as sisters do.
My sister is very smart but not very nice. She is top 20% of math students in aus and she is only 14. She dresses nice and looks cool and can be patronizing at times, but we have good moments too. Im very reclusive because I’m either depressed or have something else going on causing symptoms of depression, but she is very protected by my dad over me. This has something to do with out mum dying and she was babied (of course because she was very young) but I am often expected to be more mature despite my sister being better than me objectively in many aspects XD
Anyway we leave the pub and get in the car and my sister says something I can’t remember but I make a joke and she tells me to shut the fuck up. I PROMISE MY JOKE WASNT THE REASON FOR HER CRASH OUT I can’t remember what it was because it had no ill intention or tone AT ALL. We drive and my sister starts screaming at me while my dad sits next to her. She says im a prick and a bitch and I keep my cool while telling her to calm down. She says im so annoying and I ask why and she says I can’t get anything through my thick skull. I say im sorry (im sassy at this part) and she says “thank you because you were being” and before she could finish I said “sorry for being a prick and a bitch” in a sassy tone XD can’t stress enough though that I didn’t raise my voice at all during this event I made sure not to. She said I had a “fat fucking mouth” and at this point i stop talking and everything goes quiet. I need to get my mind off of things so I ask my dad to put something on the radio so I don’t say anything and then she starts YELLING AGAIN because I “shouldn’t have thought about saying anything unless I was a [creative insult I can’t remember]”. :0
Anyway hours later I ask my dad (while my sister is in my room) if I did anything wrong because I’m the one who usually says sorry in the house but I don’t think I did anything wrong in this case. He says maybe I did something while he wasn’t looking and that confirms that I didn’t do anything at all because me and my sister only interacted today while he was present. I tell him that nothing I did warranted her reaction but he said i was irritating her… I had to walk away because I was about to lose my temper and I was scared that I was the one scaring him because he thinks im manic TT maybe I am he says nobody thinks like me and I’m scared maybe im wrong?
Maybe im crazy? Just thinking about everybody’s reaction to me makes me think im crazy but then I rationalize by thinking that all her references are memes in zoomer culture that they won’t get and I get so maybe that’s why they don’t get me? It’s crazy TT
Also another super short piece of context is she rage baits me every day but her rage bait is calling me ugly, a “biggie”, dense and unproductive and when I get upset she says im easy to trigger, so even if I’m in the wrong im taking this as a win because I’m salty XD pls give me your opinion!
i mean as someone who has a similar relationship w my sister and has been on both ends of situations like these
sounds to me like you were rage baiting her the whole day and she simply reacted. your intent or how you think your comments were “tame” or the fact you didn’t raise your voice doesn’t make the situation better for her, and does...... 1 reply
All siblings dynamics are different but or whatever but if the way you two interact is anything similar to an average brother bothering sister type stuff. According to what you said I would just choke you tf out and fight you. reply
U have Low self esteem and ur sister don't like the fact u are too good at keeping calm and saying sorry. U better improve your health and love yourself and Stay happy dude! ( Some siblings do talk like that cuz they want make u see u fight and talk shit like them but u kept it cool so it backfired on her lol I think.) Stay happy g. 1 reply
I dont have any siblings so can't really relate but tbh i dont think you the asshole in this and you know act like a Big sister dont let her treat you like a piece of trash make her know her place and dont tolerate those kind of behaviors cuz honestly that could worsen as she grow older.. 1 reply
Hi! I don’t think you were totally in the wrong. I have a couple older sisters and we used to fight like this. I’m not quite sure why she had such an outburst. Could be a bad day? Not sure, but in all honesty, you egging her on didn’t help. But I can’t fault you since I do that all the time with my older sisters XD
Idk what kind of person ...... 1 reply
ur not. Honestly speaking, even if your sister is 'objectively' better than u, that doesnt warrant that level of disrespect, especially to an older sibling. Stand your ground. DONT give her an apology, especially when she's overreacting like that. In situations like these, apologising makes you seem like a pushover. Ask for respect.
But then again...... 1 reply
Ok person who wrote this im back my internet cuts every day at 11:30 so pardon it’s not the most detail and so much is going on. Idk how I can summarize AND give more detail because there is so much BECAUSE I tried to add detail.
Keep in mind my sister is 14 years old and super angsty and because I’m not as smart as her she has a tendency to c...... 2 reply