Just I little vent
In school, I used to have a group of friends. We were 4 in total, and we were all girls
Idk what happened at the end of senior year that I felt like they started to leave me behind. Some other girls joined too, and we ended up being a big friend group
We had a group chat where I barely talked, one bc I'm horrible at texting back, and two bc I have horrible depression + have autism, so I need my alone time, sometimes for a very long time
I started noticing how they would go out or just plan hang outs without me all the time, and I know this bc they shared the pictures in the group chat I was still in.
I didn't wanna make it a big deal, so I didn't say anything at the time, but as time passed, it bothered me more and more.
I decided that I was gonna talk to one of the girls I thought I was most close with, I told her how I felt left out, how they would never ask me how I was doing, and never asked me to hang out with them either, that they were distancing themselves from me
She answered me the next day, saying that I was the one being weird, and I was the one distancing myself from them
But even if that was the case, as their friend, couldn't they have talked to me? Asked me if I was okay?
I don't understand what I did wrong, I always try to be as careful as possible with what I say or do, and seeing how they all keep in touch and they all still hang out just, makes me cry, I feel so stupid, bc I feel like there's gotta be something wrong with me
Even when I was a kid I would constantly change my group of friends, bc I wasn't able to maintain any of my friendships, and I try to make new ones, but I feel so awkward and I feel like I'm always doing something wrong, I don't get it
I feel like I'm always putting an act to everyone I meet, I don't feel comfortable with anyone anymore, what is wrong with me
And the worst part is that I dont think they're bad people, I don't even rhink they were bad friends
I feel so stupid
I think if they would've talked to me or even told me something I did or say was wrong, I would've apologized immediately
But they didn't even try talking to me
Messages
I'm prefacing that this is from a pov that very much relates to this lol, so maybe it might seem a bit mean but I gen think that this is the advice that worked best for me.
you've got to remember that nobody is a mind reader, and everybody is capable of overthinking. your friends could have been equally confused as to why you are pulling away. I agree that they weren't the best friends for not reaching out, but you ought to remember. they are also not mind readers.
The only way you can feel seriously comfortable is just to be truthful. Like, instead of asking why they never reached out, it might be better to tell them why you aren't being the most present. What's a legitimate and genuine issue from your end, can also seem like you pulling away for no reason on their end.
most arguments in friendgroups stem from miscommunication. nobody is the bad guy, just somebody needs to take the step and communicate. if they're dicks after you take the high-road, then thats probably a sign you might want some new friends.
take care
im gonna tell you one thing
those girls are damn bitches vro, they didn't deserve you
surround yourself with people who understand you and care for you, don't waste your time and energy on people who are assholes like them.
you are not stupid. you did nothing wrong. but you have to learn that in life not everyone will like you, and thats ok.
find the people who do make you feel comfortable, and keep them close