Crushing on a close friend

I’m writing this to get it off my chest because I haven’t told anybody, not even my best friend, definitely not cause she’s the one I’m crushing on. I’m not the type of person to dig deep on questions like why do I like her? and I can’t force myself to stop so I’m just accepting that I have resurfaced feelings for her, yes, resurfaced.

I’ve never realized how possessive I was of her, cause mind you this best friend of mine is gorgeous. Theres always a line of people crushing on her, and she’s always on our school’s anonymous boards hear me outs. With a bunch of lower and higher grades wanting her.
I used to have a crush on her when she first transferred in my school, guess what? She had a crush on me too, our crushes on each other lasted for a whole semester and we ended up becoming close after we opened up to each other about it. We were becoming great friends but I ended up liking her aess again Almost ruined our friendship but my feelings faded and I didn’t mind people liking her when we entered a new grade, but recently whenever I know someone is crushing on her and we walk by I intentionally become more clingy because I’m a bitch. I ADMIT IT OK, I have always been possessive and I wasn’t even noticing that my feelings were coming back lol. I’m not here to ask for advice I’m just sharing my experience and hope to hear others experience and how they went about it.

I’m definitely not confessing though cause I value our friendship a lot, and I like her. Not enough to take the risk of losing her, and I want her in my life, doesn’t need to be romantic but hey if she ever tells me I have a chance I am pouncing on that punnani