Does anyone have the same experience like me? Recently, my friend group dropped me. We were colleagues first, but after getting to know each other, we became friends. We were quite inseparable (in adult standard). However, last year, we got into a fight over something almost ridiculous. I teased one of them about her mistake at work, and she crashed out. There were signs before that. She kept mentioned how I rage baited her, I must admit I am annoying. As I was the wrong, I properly apologized her for arguing with her. After that fight, our group chat was silent. No more messages from them, I checked in with them a few times but no reply. Not long after, they kicked me out of the TikTok group chat.
I know I am the one at fault for mixing personal and professional. Still, I thought our friendships were stronger than a single joke, crash out. Also, this isn't the first time I left out from friend group. I know there must be something wrong with me. I swear I am willing to fix but no one ever confront me.
Ngl I would be very upset if my friend told me I need training after I made a mistake at work. Like I'm already feeling bad that I made a mistake, I wouldn't want someone to poke at that wound, especially if it just happened. I also feel like maybe you should reevaluate how you tease your friends. You mention that she says you're always ragebaiting her and imo that kinda implies that your teasing might come off meaner than you intend it to.
I mean yeah but it’s different for everyone yk?? That’s why boundaries need to be set up, so then something is properly communicated. Things you might find offense someone might not yk everyone’s different. That’s why I find it weird how she bottled it all up until the very end just to crash out. Not saying that this person should’ve done that but at the same time it’s js teasing? Not something this person could’ve known honestly, esp if they were good friends.
That was my fault for teasing her about it. I didn't think much since she is the supervisor in her department and this kind of mistake isn't something a supervisor made. However, I forgot we are not only friends, also coworker as well. About teasing and rage baiting stuff, it is not like internet kind of saying stupid stuffs or insulting her, I simply stood on my ground without being serious (like we make a decision and I felt like it won't work out, I tried to reasoning about the cons and convinced the friend group to reconsider). Still, this is my side of story, I wouldn't know what her meaning of rage baiting
I'm trying to but a single consulting session cost like 30% of monthly income in my country, so I am saving up and for now, all I can do is reflecting my actions and healing my wound
I'm trying to but a single consulting session cost like 30% of monthly income in my country, so I am saving up and for now, all I can do is reflecting my actions and healing my wound A rat inside your ear
i feel you twin . for now just get enough sleep and eat healthy, and stay hydrated .
Happened to me too but I don't know if that was my fault or not. I had these 2 girlfriends way back college. Out of the three of us, the other two were closer but nonetheless, I consider us all bestfriends. We've known each other for 15+ yrs after all... visiting each other homes, hanging out, etc. Fast forward just right after covid, one of them was getting married on a weekday. It's a civil wedding with only a handful people invited. Note that I was only given a month heads up on the wedding. I said I couldn't make it because I was saving up vacation hours for an upcoming trip to visit relatives outside US - which they've known months before. I was fairly new at my job so I didn't have a lot of hours saved up yet. The two of them just stopped talking to me for months even when I texted the bride first. 6 months after, I got one text from the bride saying she's disappointed in me and just stopped communication altogether.
I, on the other hand, enjoyed my vacation with family and relatives who I had not seen for 5 yrs. I guess they're more important to me than the two people who I thought were real friends.
I'm so sorry that happened to you. I heard wedding in US cost a lot even as a guest unlike in Asian. I am sure you can find better friends for lifetime
Honestly I was in the same boat. But you’re not in the wrong here. If she was truly upset about it she should’ve communicated her thoughts about it. You’re both adults, she’s mature enough to tell you her boundaries. You’re not God, you’re not able to tell what she’s feeling even if they were “signs” she probably got fed up then dropped you. Then shit talked about you to your other friends as to why you’re kicked out. If you’re able to get at least one message in tell her how you feel about not getting proper communication about it. It was an immature move on her part to just drop you randomly without telling you how she felt and then wait until I bottled up inside her and then crash out. Sometimes my friend rage baits me too and when I’m not in the mood I ACTUALLY TELL HER. Don’t feel bad about something you couldn’t control/ didn’t know. I’d get it if she told you and you continued to go, but this was something you couldn’t really have known. So I’d say don’t blame yourself for this and if you’re able to text one last time communicate you’re feelings as well and tell her she should’ve communicated how she felt if she truly was upset !
I added how I felt in apology. I told her I didn't mean to offend her and ruin the vibe of friend group. I also suggested all of them to have a meeting over this case but the attempt was failed. I almost send a message like you said but I figured she might face some family case at her end and decided no to send. Thank you for your advice
I added how I felt in apology. I told her I didn't mean to offend her and ruin the vibe of friend group. I also suggested all of them to have a meeting over this case but the attempt was failed. I almost send a... A rat inside your ear
U deserve better friends honestly!! Let them unfriend u over smth so trivial like this , if she’s the type to not communicate her feelings that entire friend group is gonna fall apart. It’s gonna take years but don’t worry, she’ll get it if she continues to not set boundaries and get upset over the consequences of that.
You know, me and my best friend get in arguments and it’s because of my humor not acting like humor to her Theirs going to be sensitive people who would feel that your humor is offensive and sometimes its best to let go. No one is in the wrong, but no one is in the right. Opposite sometimes doesn’t attract
Thank you. It all happened just because I told her "Girl, you need training". I am already over this case since it is almost a year but yesterday was one of them bd and saw them posted each other made me spiraling again. That's why I am in rabbit hole again
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Ngl I would be very upset if my friend told me I need training after I made a mistake at work. Like I'm already feeling bad that I made a mistake, I wouldn't want someone to poke at that wound, especially if it just happened. I also feel like maybe you should reevaluate how you tease your friends. You mention that she says you're always ragebaiting her and imo that kinda implies that your teasing might come off meaner than you intend it to.
I mean yeah but it’s different for everyone yk?? That’s why boundaries need to be set up, so then something is properly communicated. Things you might find offense someone might not yk everyone’s different. That’s why I find it weird how she bottled it all up until the very end just to crash out. Not saying that this person should’ve done that but at the same time it’s js teasing? Not something this person could’ve known honestly, esp if they were good friends.
That was my fault for teasing her about it. I didn't think much since she is the supervisor in her department and this kind of mistake isn't something a supervisor made. However, I forgot we are not only friends, also coworker as well. About teasing and rage baiting stuff, it is not like internet kind of saying stupid stuffs or insulting her, I simply stood on my ground without being serious (like we make a decision and I felt like it won't work out, I tried to reasoning about the cons and convinced the friend group to reconsider). Still, this is my side of story, I wouldn't know what her meaning of rage baiting
girl if you feel like something's wrong with you then contact a therapist im serious
I'm trying to but a single consulting session cost like 30% of monthly income in my country, so I am saving up and for now, all I can do is reflecting my actions and healing my wound
i feel you twin . for now just get enough sleep and eat healthy, and stay hydrated .
Happened to me too but I don't know if that was my fault or not. I had these 2 girlfriends way back college. Out of the three of us, the other two were closer but nonetheless, I consider us all bestfriends. We've known each other for 15+ yrs after all... visiting each other homes, hanging out, etc. Fast forward just right after covid, one of them was getting married on a weekday. It's a civil wedding with only a handful people invited. Note that I was only given a month heads up on the wedding. I said I couldn't make it because I was saving up vacation hours for an upcoming trip to visit relatives outside US - which they've known months before. I was fairly new at my job so I didn't have a lot of hours saved up yet. The two of them just stopped talking to me for months even when I texted the bride first. 6 months after, I got one text from the bride saying she's disappointed in me and just stopped communication altogether.
I, on the other hand, enjoyed my vacation with family and relatives who I had not seen for 5 yrs. I guess they're more important to me than the two people who I thought were real friends.
(=・ω・=)
I'm so sorry that happened to you. I heard wedding in US cost a lot even as a guest unlike in Asian. I am sure you can find better friends for lifetime
Honestly I was in the same boat. But you’re not in the wrong here. If she was truly upset about it she should’ve communicated her thoughts about it. You’re both adults, she’s mature enough to tell you her boundaries. You’re not God, you’re not able to tell what she’s feeling even if they were “signs” she probably got fed up then dropped you. Then shit talked about you to your other friends as to why you’re kicked out. If you’re able to get at least one message in tell her how you feel about not getting proper communication about it. It was an immature move on her part to just drop you randomly without telling you how she felt and then wait until I bottled up inside her and then crash out. Sometimes my friend rage baits me too and when I’m not in the mood I ACTUALLY TELL HER. Don’t feel bad about something you couldn’t control/ didn’t know. I’d get it if she told you and you continued to go, but this was something you couldn’t really have known. So I’d say don’t blame yourself for this and if you’re able to text one last time communicate you’re feelings as well and tell her she should’ve communicated how she felt if she truly was upset !
I added how I felt in apology. I told her I didn't mean to offend her and ruin the vibe of friend group. I also suggested all of them to have a meeting over this case but the attempt was failed. I almost send a message like you said but I figured she might face some family case at her end and decided no to send. Thank you for your advice
U deserve better friends honestly!! Let them unfriend u over smth so trivial like this , if she’s the type to not communicate her feelings that entire friend group is gonna fall apart. It’s gonna take years but don’t worry, she’ll get it if she continues to not set boundaries and get upset over the consequences of that.
You know, me and my best friend get in arguments and it’s because of my humor not acting like humor to her
Theirs going to be sensitive people who would feel that your humor is offensive and sometimes its best to let go.
No one is in the wrong, but no one is in the right. Opposite sometimes doesn’t attract
Thank you. It all happened just because I told her "Girl, you need training". I am already over this case since it is almost a year but yesterday was one of them bd and saw them posted each other made me spiraling again. That's why I am in rabbit hole again