Deleting photos/ throwing stuff out hurts so bad

Im going through and deleting video and photos off my socials and throwing away pictures and items ive gotten from them and oh my god i feel like a sack of shit. I dislike (?) them now but they were literally my best friend for years. I still have a lot of confusing feelings and it sucks. I dont ever want to change myself for someone but thinking back on what we had makes me want to. I would never though. Especially because i havent done anything wrong. I just miss those times.

Alot of hurt, anger and sadness is just piling up and idk what to do with it. I cant talk to my friends about it bc I dont like one on one venting and the groupchat we have one of my friends is still friends with her. I dont want to give her any pressure or something like that where she feels like she has to choose, thats just shitty. I just threw away a hug shirt we did and it made me want to bawl my eyes out. I genuinely was just being true self and speaking out about what I like and not sitting there quietly. I know there's nothing wrong with me it just makes me feel like there is. I wouldn't have stayed friends with her anyways after this year (same school) because we were becoming too different and the way she speaks about people is something I dont agree with. I dont know why it hurts this much. I was literally fine with us drifting apart.