My crush

So yea. I like girls. And boys. And well idk. I'm still young and I still want to experience and experiment before I can officially put a label on myself, but people have been so annoying that I just labeled myself pan. And honestly it doesn't feel bad.
But that's going off topic.
Anyways my relationship problems are mostly girl problems. Or should I say one girl in particular. I've told this story to many people who never wanted to listen. So I'm here telling it to more people online.
There was a girl I really liked. Well I guess u could say I fell for her. We weren't exactly "the best people". It was obvious she knew I liked her from the start because I'm obvious asf and blush easily. She toyed with my heart so much but always acted as if she didn't have a clue. She hurt me so much that when I "finnaly about got over her" (because of an incident)I hurt her. I guess you could say I wanted her to feel what I've been going through and put her in the same hell hole I was in. I wanted to. I knew I shouldn't but I didn't know how to stop.(Thankfully, looking back on it, it wasn't that bad and I stopped my actions quicker than I thought I would have.) So I decided to distance myself, but she was in every class I was in. And she always tried to communicate with me. I remember at one point she started acting really mean. Like she would yell and berate everything I did because I was talking to a friend of ours (a boy she liked). She was like that for a good week and all I could do was smile and shrug it off because I didn't know how to deal with the situation (this was before I had the intention of hurting her)(now looking back at the setting, I would constantly whisper to my friend over how bad I felt about it, which would aggravate the girl more, thinking I was talking bad behind her back-_-''ik im a dumbass)At the end of the week, she seemed to have calmed herself down and tried to talk to me as if nothing happened. I couldn't handle it and although I wasn't angry(emotions don't come to me easily sometimes or never at all). I decided ignoring her would be the best choice of actions.(late choice, ik) More of this and I would start crying. But she just got upset with me and lash out at me, "Are you still angry about before!??" Honestly didn't know what I felt at the moment. I still don't, but I can't seem to get the moment out of my head. I know I seem like the victim this time, but it wasn't always me. What me and her went through was a mix of emotions where we both were hurt and at fault. I have many more stories and details of just the two of us.
Just a one-sided love story of dumbass who was too obvious and caring when in "love."