Origin of dreams (AmIGayHelp)
How much are dreams related to unconscious vs desire?
Through the years living on this planet I’ve gone through quite a few different phases trying to label my sexuality and self and have pretty much accepted that I don’t need to label anything as it’s nobody’s business unless I want them to know. HOWEVER, that is mostly because I genuinely have no fucking clue who I could be attracted to or ‘like’.
Yes, I have eyes. Yes, I think everyone’s gorgeous, I obviously have no preference physically, and my type in friends are nerds so there’s that I guess but romantically and sexually, you’ve lost me.
I feel pretty evenly ‘attracted’ to all genders but don’t know if that’s evenly ‘I like everyone’ or ‘I like absolutely no one’……
When people have approached me in the past with romantic intentions it’s genuinely felt like I was dying. BUT I LITERALLY CRAVE THE WARMTH OF OTHER PEOPLE.
It’s not like I don’t think about being attracted to people. Basically every friend I’ve had, I’ve had a moment where I at least think ‘wait am I attracted to them?!?!?’ And then proceed to spend the next week trying to imagine it and just deciding I enjoy their attention and hanging out with them.
Sure I’ve definitely had a few female friends that I’ve been 100% in love with, but once again in a ‘you are genuinely the light in my life, I’m so happy you exist’ kind of way.
ANYWAYS getting to the dream part; Despite my complete and utter lack of experience in the realm of sexual activities, I’ve had multiple dreams about doing various things with women. But not a single dream about men. I find this really interesting on multiple levels.
I’m wondering about whether I have dreams about having sex with women because I was thinking about the possibility of be being gay and less (never) because I don’t think about my attraction to men as much?
If I’m being completely fr if a few certain women kissed me I really don’t think I’d be mad. But ALSO I have no problem thinking about having sex with ‘theoretical’ people but once I put faces to those people I start to get put off. Same with romance.
I’ve kind of generally decided that my requirements consist of
1. Being the little spoon
2. Snuggling
3. Being happy and eating together
But even that I’m like where tf do I find someone like that. Me and my bestie do that but she had a boyfriend and it’s not really romantic. Like in those examples it’s like I wanna SNUGGLE YOU not snuggle you cause you’re my friend? I just think I’m crazy nvm.
I just really have no clue what is going on with the sparse amount of braincells working in my little adhd brain. Which is a whole other part of this that I won’t get into.
Anyways I doubt anyone is gonna read this whole ass novel but if you did thanks
TLDR: no clue what the FUCK my sexuality is (maybe some kind of ace?) but I have suggestive dreams w/ women. Help?
