vent// I hate myself for thinking this way so much its not even funny, its downright childish. I get so jealous when I see my friend hanging out with another friend, even though I know its well within their right to hang out with them one on one. but I just get so upset when I see them doing activities together, and I often find myself thinking "couldn't I have been invited too? I like doing that activity as well", or wondering if my friend was the one who initiated that hang out (in my experience I'm usually initiating, but they've mentioned before that they don't usually initiate things). just today, I saw them post on ig stories with that friend with the caption "thanks for hanging out with me, it was so healing" and I started spiraling, wondering if they ever expressed feeling that way hanging out with me and I just missed it (for the record we just hung out a few days ago). I know the way I feel isn't healthy, i just want to be "number 1" to someone.
